666? A-Rod is - well - STILL within two home runs of SATAN.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Posted by el duque at 5:39 AM
Hear the full-throated cry from Nordic God/Redsock superpresident Larry Lucchino:
"The one constant off the field is that we have had a veritable All-Star Team on the disabled list. As we begin the second half, we look forward to the return of the 'varsity,' including Jacoby Ellsbury, Carl Crawford, Andrew Bailey, and the ever-dirty Dustin Pedroia. While this infusion of such talent in late July may make other General Managers green with envy, you can be sure that Ben Cherington and his Baseball Operations Staff will approach the July 31 trading deadline with their tireless work ethic. If someone can further help this club, and if the deal makes sense, we will be aggressive. We want to play October Baseball this year."
Bevare. The Fenway Murderer's Roe, which stumbled last year, has learned from its mistakes and returned stronger than ever! With "Perfect Storm" Crawford back to patrol Yazstremskiville, and the ever-dirty Dustin Pedroia quarterbacking the infield, the "varsity" Socks present a formidable opponent. Also, let's not forget wily manager and cool customer Bobby Vee, the Professor X of Bosstown, who knows what buttons to press - and when.
(Let's face it: If we can keep our lead in the East, and Texas holds on in the West, that leaves the Central to the .500 brigade - and the two leftover Wild Card slots to the Angels, Rays or Varsity Socks. Does anyone really think Baltimore can hang in there? Not me. So let those teams burn their systems chasing Ryan Dempster and Matt Garza. After all, they'll need them for the one-game playoff, right?)