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Wednesday, July 4, 2012, history became meaningless.
On this august date (Yes, I know, it's actually July), the finding of the "God particle" by the Hadron Super Team of Bearded Scientists became a page 5 story, compared to the mind-boggling, juju surgery event that was performed yesterday evening at a secret location in upstate New York.
With the Yankees trailing and seemingly fated to lose again at Tropicana Field, Alphonso - the ultimate Yankee pessimst - abruptly announced that if everybody - he later honed in on certain individuals - ate hotdogs, the Yankees would win.
Not only that, but he ding-dong guaranteed it.
To ding-dong guarantee anything - especially a Yankee win - is generally bad juju. To do it in the eighth inning with your team behind is practically jujuicide. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and anybody who has ever stared into the eyes of Alphonso after a Yankee loss can well understand the notion of desperation.
The hotdogs were consumed. And like a vision upon the horizon, the figure of Kyle Farnsworth emerged. The rest is history, which is - as stated above - meaningless.
I am speechless. And iPhone connectorless.
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3 comments:
Holy cow by-products. I was at a family barbecue and following the game on my phone. Got me a hot tube steak, dug in, and we take the lead. You may need to tweet the "juju directive of the day" to keep this going.
just how did alphonso "consume" the dog. a source from mexico says he favors reverse osmosis, if you catch my drift.
You left out the part about the spiral-cut hot dogs.
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