Friday, December 27, 2013

Over the next few weeks, as its commentators drone on about Yankee spending, the true Evil Empire will have a hand in your pocket

With ex-teammates Nomar and Pedro, Curt Schilling these days does his smart-mouthing for the anti-Yankee Al Jazeera - ESPN - the nation's broadcasting sports pimp, which has banked $260 million in tax breaks over the last 12 years, according to the Gray Lady. 

But that's just the start.

In America, every cable TV subscriber - a good hundred million of them - pays $5.54 a month for ESPN, regardless of whether he or she watches one lick of sports. Can you imagine that? It's the sweetest, under-the-radar tax ever invented. It's home burglary, via your cable hook-up, and not even the Tea Party complains. It's worse than Obamacare in a bad month, except that you can't see it - there is no public accountability. It's "capitalism," they say, in the sense that extortion is a free-market business. It also makes money by selling beer to 10 year-old intellects, and then it uses the proceeds to grease America's most corrupt and meat-grinding industry: College sports.

ESPN is the main reason why practically every college football program with a winning record is playing this week in some trumped-up, ridiculously named bowl game in some city desperate to justify the building of those concrete dog-dishes that they call stadiums. Thirty three of the 35 bowl games are being broadcast on ESPN - each one generating boatloads of money for their schools to spend on new facilities, hiring more ex-jocks as hangers-on, and to hand out $100 handshakes to high school athletes, while everybody else - from teachers to social workers and university presidents - wonders what the hell has gone wrong with a nation's priorities?

Yes... sit back over the next few weeks, while the Greek chorus of ex-Redsock players rip the Yankees for excessive spending, for employing A-Rod, for - yes - taking our own tax breaks, for our lousy pitching, for Hal's money, for Chad Curtis' arrest, for John Sterling's homerism - hell with this - just for sake of being toast-worthy. And they call us the Evil Empire? Sure, I get it. Pass the meatloaf.

4 comments:

John M said...

Here, here. (Where? Where?)(Werewolf? There wolf.) ESPN, once a feisty and fun compendium of sports news and tiddly winks championship matches, has grown into a beast consuming and often distorting our entire sports culture. And they've become pretty boring and sanctimonious while they're at it.

Andre the Giant could kick their Red Sox loving asses if he was still with us. By the way, you can pay your respects to Andre by visiting Sam's Italian restaurant in Albany. An autographed photo of him, posing with the owners, still hangs above the window table at the front of the bar. It used to hang behind the bar itself, but has been slightly demoted.

MLB network was just saying Pettitte had a better ERA than Lester this past season. ESPN's Gammonites will never offend the Beantown 'ace' by reporting that factoid.

Come back, Andre, we need you. And bring Prof. Tanaka with some fine grain sand for Schilling.

Anonymous said...

Wait.

Are you guys talking about Curt Schilling, the assh(o)le who robbed $75MM from the State of Rhode Island for his ill-fated video game company? Are you talking about that Curt Schilling?

Leinstery said...

I don't watch any ESPN programming. I like to think I'm contributing to their downfall.

Anonymous said...

On Leinstery's posts in general: It's heart-warming indeed in this holiday season to note the this compassionate site gives free rein to the dribblings of the brain-damaged.