Sunday, December 29, 2013

The Giants of Mediocrity finally end their horrible, rancid season

If I had a dog, I would kick it.

It's almost impossible to imagine a more torturous year for an NFL team's fan base than what the New York Fucking Football Giants gave us this year. Maybe Stephen King could come up with a worse scenario. I cannot.

The Giants lose their first six games, effectively eliminating themselves from any meaningful playoff chance.

Maybe, you think, they will get a good draft pick next year.

Nope. They win three games against teams who start their third-string quarterback. They beat their chests and say they are back. All they have to do is beat the Cowboys - who are terrible - in the Meadowlands.

Maybe, you think, they can come back.

Nope. They blow the game on the last possession. God damn them.

Maybe, you think, they can get that draft pick.

Nope. They win the two meaningless last games of the season - I mean, these are virtually exhibition games. The Lions are horrible. The Redskins play their backup QB. And both teams will probably draft ahead of the Giants.

They finish 7-9 - which is Nowheresville in the NFL. They will draft somewhere about 15th - middle of the pack. They will claim to the sportswriters this proves they are a good program - when we all know otherwise. They will beat their chests and say they are looking forward to next year - same coach, same staff, same quarterback, same disaster waiting to happen.

The only thing good about the New York Fucking Football Giants is that I don't have to watch their sorry butts for nine golden months. Nine Giant-free months.

I am so lucky we do not have a dog.

2 comments:

John M said...

Yeah, but if you write off the first six games, they went 7-3. Not bad! Whoo.

Next year, they might start off 7-3, and then lose the last 6. That would be just like those kidders!

Turden Puentchbol said...

Baseball on the horizon.