Friday, April 4, 2014
Posted by el duque at 7:40 AM
Now, everything has changed. Tonight, who knows? He could whack three! So...
CALLING ALL CARS. CALLING ALL CARS. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A HOME RUN CALL. REPEATING: THIS IS NOT A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY STERLING SYSTEM. THIS IS A STERLING EMERGENCY! This is like in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, where, to save the day, cub scouts nationwide trash the newspaper industry. (In the modern remake, the Newhouse Corporation will have already done this.) WE NEED A HOME RUN CALL FOR YANGERVIS SOLARTE, AND DAMMIT, WE NEED IT NOW.
Think of it this way: This is like an International Juju Intervention, except instead of staring at our TVs and clapping our hands to revive Tinkerbell, we must enter our Sterling Holodecks and find some existential truths.
Potential home run calls for Yangervis Solarte.
YANGERVIS YANGS ONE!
SOOOOOO LONG, SOOOOOOO-LARTE!
(Singing) I'M A SOUL MAN. YEOWWWWWW! I'M A SOOOOUL MAN!
(Biblical) GERVIS THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD!
YANK YOU, SIR! GERVIS ANOTHER!
IT'S A DOUBLE-LATTE, FROM SOLARTE!