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Thursday, February 4, 2016

Did I Hear This Right?


So I am sitting at this bar, in a marina in Florida, wolfing down Bloody Marys and onion rings fried in truffle oil, and sprinkled with parmesan cheese, when I see Brian Cashman's face appear on the screen.

I start choking immediately, chugged my drink to quell the choking , and fixed my eyers and ears on what the wizard was saying.

In full Yankee speak, I swear I heard him say, " …we are going to be all right if Texiera and Beltran can stay healthy…".

Isn't that like when someone said, " …they will passing out flowers to us when we walk into Bagdad?"

The Yankee PR machine has already dismissed the disaster of Greg Bird's injury ( "he wasn't going to play for us in 2016, anyway" ), and they have no understanding that Yankee fans would rather see a rookie play than any other Yankee currently in uniform in 2016.

Let's take a poll:   Who wouldn't rather see Heathcott in CF, rather than Jacoby?  How about Aaron Judge rather than Beltran, in right field? Or let's try Sanchez vs. Brian McMann?

The Yankees still think we want to see a mis-shapen, hopeless team of blundering rich guys strive to make the play-in game.  Note to management;  you guys are just idiots!

What we want is a team to like and be interested in.  We know the 2016 Yankee team can't win dick with McMann, Tex, Beltran, Jacoby and Headley playing. We would far prefer to lose with young talent on the field.  Young, untested players at least give us some reason for watching or listening to games. When any of the current Yankees come to the plate, I go to the kitchen.

Cashman is so distorted in his expectations for the two walking injury cases mentioned above that it boggles the mind he has any sort of employment.  I know plenty of roofers and shopping center baggers, whose thinking is far more acute when it comes to the Yankees.  Or anything, for that matter.

When the TV flashed away from Brian and onto the latest virus coming into Florida from Brazil, I switched to shots of tequila and Stella drafts.

Jesus.

What a year we are in for.


6 comments:

el duque said...

And I'M pessimistic?

I'm Bill White said...

It's aspirational! Which, given our current roster and executive mindset, is actually pessimistic. I want some onion rings!

Anonymous said...

And I am certain that Girardi wants Drew and Ryan back....Lunacy from Ownership to Front Office to the Manager

JM said...

In the late 60s, when Ralph Houk used to swing through upstate with the Yankee Caravan before Spring Training started, he always said, "I think we have a pretty good team this year, there are some fine young players and we have veterans like Pepi who we think will have a good year."

He was much more convincing than Cashman.

Anonymous said...

SO TRUE..... JUDGE INSTEAD OF BELTRAN? CHECK.. HEATHCOTT INSTEAD OF A SLUMPING ELLSBURY? CHECK.. SANCHEZ FOR MCCANN ESPECIALLY AGAINST LEFTIES? CHECK.. REFSNYDER ANYWHERE FOR ANY POSITION PLAYER HITTING BELOW FUCKING .205! CHECK!.. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT HOW HE IS IN THE FIELD. IT SHOULDN'T COST US MORE THAN A GUY HITTING .205 IS COSTING US, WASTING HUNDREDS OF AT-BATS, AND KILLING RALLIES.

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