Friday, February 12, 2016

The pre-season NothingSpeak begins: Cashman says Yanks will contend... if nothing bad happens

Yesterday, Brian Cashman told reporters the key to 2016 is the Yankee rotation staying healthy.

He added that the sun is warm, 2+2=4, and he hoped that we still feel small when we stand beside the ocean, that whenever one door closes, we'll see one door open, that we'll promise to give faith a fighting chance, and if we get a choice to sit it out or dance... he hoped we'll dance.

Write this down: The key to 2016? No injuries. Got it?

If nobody gets hurt, everything A-OK!

“Our starting rotation’s health is really the keys to the kingdom for us,” Cashman said. “It normally is for anybody, but I believe when we’re able to run out our healthy starting rotation that we have on paper, we can match up with anybody.”

In other words... GOD HELP US! MAYDAY! WHO'S GOT THE SHOE POLISH, 'CAUSE THE BATHROOM CLEANER ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH.

Okay. Get a grip. Take a pill. It's just the NothingSpeak that comes every February. It's just Cashman saying things to say things so the things that get said say nothing.

But... for the sake of saying things... let's play out this baby: Tell me a Yankee starter whom we should expect to go the season. CC? Uh-huh. He'll be 35. Last year, he crumbled like a chunk of bleu cheese. Pineda? Tanaka? Eovaldi? Granted, they're young. Each missed time last year. Severino, at 22, gives hope. He threw 62 MLB innings. How far do they stretch him? Above 150? If this guy ends up in TJ surgery... I cannot be held accountable...

Bullpen? That's our wheelhouse. But both Miller and Betances missed time last year, and whenever a guy throws 100 mph - as Chapman does - you wonder how long? (He's only 28.) After those three, it's all scrap-heapers and kids. Bob Shirley, you jest.

The OF? Gimme a break. Neither Ellsbury nor Gardner can be counted to play 140. Beltran at 39? Tex at 36? On any swing, poof. A-Rod's hips and knees belong in a freak museum (along with Cashman's mustache.) Didi and Castro could go the season. Headley looked older than 31 last year. McCann will be 32. He's a work horse, but we're already thinking about Gary Sanchez...

Conclusion: I agree with Cashman. If nobody gets hurt, we'll be okay. And if you get a chance to sit it out or dance... um... keep it in your pants.

5 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


He added that the sun is warm, 2+2=4, and he hoped that we still feel small when we stand beside the ocean, that whenever one door closes, we'll see one door open, that we'll promise to give faith a fighting chance, and if we get a choice to sit it out or dance... he hoped we'll dance.

Cashman continued:

I mean, c'mon, baseball is played between the lines. It's a marathon, not a sprint. We won't get too high after wins, and we won't get too low after losses. As long as we stay on an even keel, we'll be just fine. We just need to go as hard we can as long as we can.

You guys in the press can make someone out to be a superstar, but we're fortunate to have a bunch of guys with a blue-collar work ethic. We're going to take the season one game at a time. Play every game like it's game 7. We need to have a different hero every day and, if we stay healthy, we should be right there.

Our key to successful pitching will be throwing strikes. If the pitchers get their off-speed stuff over, the hitters can't sit on the fastball. On days where our pitchers don't have their good stuff, they'll need to battle. As long as our pitchers and catchers stay on the same page, things will work out.

I'd say this team is ready to gel. We can't try to do too much, we just need to stay within ourselves. There's no middle ground on this. The science is right.

At the end of the season, it will all come down to the intangibles.

After all they've stood the test of time.

Anonymous said...

YEP, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THE SKY IS FALLING, AND IT'S FALLING RIGHT OVER YANKEE STADIUM, APPARENTLY. WHY DON'T YOU JUST FIND ANOTHER TEAM TO FOLLOW, ASSWIPE?

BRONX YANKEE said...



" At the end of the season, it will all come down to the intangibles."
Local Bargain Jerk

" The Race isn't always to the Swift; but that's the way to bet. "
Ring Lardner

Local Bargain Jerk said...


YEP, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THE SKY IS FALLING, AND IT'S FALLING RIGHT OVER YANKEE STADIUM, APPARENTLY. WHY DON'T YOU JUST FIND ANOTHER TEAM TO FOLLOW, ASSWIPE?

Dear Sir Caps-a-Lock:

You don't understand many things in this life, apparently.

I'd bet good money that I'm not the first person to say these words to you.


Anonymous said...

BARGAIN JERK.......I TRULY CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOUR INABILITY TO WRITE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. BY NOW, YOU SHOULD BE A MUCH BETTER STORYTELLER. AFTER ALL, YOU TELL THE SAME ONE DAILY. AND I KNOW I'M NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY THESE WORDS TO YOU. I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND MANY THINGS, BUT I UNDERSTAND THIS GAME.