FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Will Comcast be the first hammer of karma to hit the Yankees for their boring team?

Did you hear about those two black holes that swallowed up each other deep in interstellar space, helping some lab coats prove Einstein's theory of gravitational waves?

A similar event happened last fall in the tri-state area.

Since November, Comcast and Fox - the Sunnis and Shiites of TV - have played chicken over YES broadcasts, creating a tiny wrinkle in the Yankee time-and-space continuum. As a result, 900,000 suburban rec rooms have been denied daily simulcasts of the Michael Kay Show. Hard to believe that weed-whacker-wielding mobs of Yank-Kay fans haven't marched on City Hall, eh? They must be drinking Flint water, and it made them sluggish.

But today, as the Daily News' Bob Raissman reports, the all-important March 2 Yankee Spring Training TV Opener - yes, against those dreaded Tigers! - could be a victim of this blood feud. (We'll have to listen to the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Cheap.)

It started when Fox-YES demanded a 33 percent increase in cable broadcast fees. Every Comcast subscriber - whether they follow the Yankees or not - pays almost $5 per month into the Steinbrenner Family Dynasty Trust. But this year, Comcast fired back. Says Raissman:

Comcast fired high-heat, saying most of its subscriber base was not even watching the Yankees on YES. “....Over 90% of out 900,000 plus customers who receive YES Network didn’t watch the equivalent of even one quarter of those (130) games (on YES) during the season,” Comcast said. “Even while the Yankees were in the hunt for a playoff berth.” Simply put, Comcast was saying the Yankees product in 2015 was more irrelevant than compelling.
"More irrelevant than compelling." Yeow, kitty like to scratch! Of course, as Raissman says, this is probably just another bucket of brinksmanship. At the last minute, the suited elephants will cut a deal, and nothing will change. Or maybe no. Maybe the suits noticed something:

The 2015 Yankees were boring. 

Yeah, boring. Fans were tired of watching the same aging, skill-eroded players, especially when management has no option other than to play them. The two most exciting things that happened last season were Greg Bird and Luis Severino. They almost balanced out the everyday dreariness of Carlos Beltran and Chase Headley, even though both players posted their usual numbers, more or less.

Old guys make boring teams. Boring teams make lower ratings. Lower ratings should mean lower fees. The 2015 Yankees were all of the above. The Mets enter 2016 owning New York, and Food Stamps Hal didn't shell out to sign a starting pitcher - the one ingredient that could have vaulted this team to the top of pre-season predictions.

One of these days, viewers across America will be free from the shackles of cable TV packages, which force them to pony up vast monthly sums for ESPN, YES, the Food Channel, whatever - for programming they don't watch. That doomsday judgement will affect Comcast, Fox, YES and Hal. I say, let the black holes converge. For better or worse, let's surf the waves...

7 comments:

KD said...

I am already plotting my course of action. Does anybody have any advice?

Roger B said...

Did you hear about the black hole that walked into a bar?

Nothing.

Tom said...

KD: Cut the cable cord. Listen to the radio, and when John Sterling grows tiresome from losing, read about the Yankees of yore

Celerino Sanchez said...

Comcast pulled MSG off their CT systems years ago. You can't even get it for a surcharge. I will go balistic if YES goes down the same rabbit hole.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I'm with Tom, I only listen now on the radio and it's a much more entertaining experience,,,

Anonymous said...

WE WERE SO BORING LAST YEAR (AND THE YEAR BEFORE)........... MOST PEOPLE, CRITICS, AND EVEN YANKEE FANS HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN, HOW BAD A HITTING TEAM WE HAD LAST SEASON.....CITING THE STAT SHEET, I BELIEVE WE WERE 2ND IN THE LEAGUE IN RUNS SCORED.......THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY DECEIVING STAT BECAUSE AS US DIE HARD FANS REALIZE THAT WATCH EVERY SINGLE GAME, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, WE ARE IN THE 6TH OR 7TH INNING WITH 3 HITS AND 0 OR 1 RUN....... THEN THE 13 OR 15 RUN OUTBURST COMES AFTER ABOUT 4 STRAIGHT GAMES OF INEPTITUDE.......... WERE WE BORING THE LAST 2 SEASONS?...YOU BETTER BELIEVE WE WERE!!!........ MY SUGGESTION? ...GET SANCHEZ, JUDGE, HEATHCOTT, AND EVEN REFSNYDER ON THE 25 MAN ROSTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (ALTHOUGH I KNOW REFSNYDER AIN'T HAPPENING).......AND GIVE THEM ALL SOME SERIOUS PLAYING TIME!.....(AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF JUDGE IS HITTING .230 IN TRIPLE A- IF BELTRAN IS SLUMPING BAD OR GETS HURT, GET JUDGE UP AND LET HIM PLAY)!!!

Alphonso said...

We'll be okay if Trump buys the team.