Saturday, May 27, 2023

Once again, the Yankees are adrift, and another lost season outcome feels inevitable

 
Hello, Darkness, my old friend... 

So... we win five, then lose three 
(and counting.) We're eight behind Tampa, four below Baltimore, with half our bullpen doing the Scranton shuffle, and Aaron Boone - the milquetoast star of the nightly post-game hostage video - has turned into Al Pacino in AND JUSTICE FOR ALL...

We've reverted back to the Aaron Judge Offense: If he hits two HRs, we win. If he doesn't, we  lose. What a bum!

We're starting to wonder if Oswald Peraza (hitting .338 at Scranton) will ever get a shot. It's painfully obvious that Estevan Florial (hitting .313 there) won't. Both Oswaldo Cabrera and Anthony Volpe are struggling, and Jackie Donaldson - the Yankee Babadook - looms on the horizon. Last night, in a rehab assignment, the Crafty Veteran went 0-3 with two K's. He's ready, eh? 

Against Oakland and  Cincinnati, the Yankees looked overpowering. Now, against actual MLB competition, they are a plane with three propellers and one wing, on a three-game losing streak market correction. They look like a clubhouse that has glimpsed its destiny: To shredded at the trade deadline by Hurricane Cashman's latest algorithm. Who knows what the roster will look like on Aug. 2? 

Last night, it was funny - in a not-really-all-that-funny way - to see the Bleacher Creatures interact with Juan Soto, the kind of generational talent that, in a previous era, would have would up in the Bronx. In fact, the Podcasts seem to more resemble the teams of Old George than do the '23 Yankees. Their owner - a grandson of Walter O'Malley - will spend whatever it takes. Meanwhile, frugal Hal - in his thrift store windbreaker - keeps spinning nickels and waiting for Giancarlo, or Carlos, or Frankie, or Jonathan, or Tommy, or all of the above... He's waiting for his ship to come in, not realizing it's been mired here, all along. So much for extending the Yankee debt ceiling...

Breaking News: We have no left fielder. It's been two years now (and counting). The latest update? Jake Bauers Reclamation Project has stalled. (He's no Matt Carpenter.) Last night, we pinch hit Bauers for Ben Roquefort, both of whom bat LH. We regularly call upon pinch hitters who are below .200. But who's counting? 

If the season ended today, we would be tied with Houston for the final wild card slot. 

We cannot trade our dead wood. Aaron Hicks passed through the colon of trade talks and is now a free agent. They couldn't even get a pool boy in a trade. 

The Master is convalescing and won't return for another week. Suzyn is lost, struggling to keep up her quota of in-game commercials. Will somebody - looking at you, Geico - give the lady a break?

We are not going to win the 2023 world series. And we won't set ourselves up for 2024. This is the Yankee Way, the Yankee Continuum, the Yankee Treadmill, the Yankee Saga: Win five, lose three (and counting.)

And you wonder why Boone is suddenly screaming at the  Cosmos? "I'm out of order? You're out of order! This game is out of order!" 

Hello, Darkness, my old friend...

16 comments:

Doug K. said...

A few games ago I noted that Boone was eating with both hands. Right. Left. Right. Left. He was also biting his nails and kinda looks deranged.

He's been kicked out of three or four games in the last week or so.

I think, and I'm not kidding, he's having a nervous breakdown and, as such, I will refrain from making fun of him or disparaging him in any way.

He's not going to make the whole season.





Carl J. Weitz said...

Hire Dr. Phibes and re-animate George from the grave. Problem solved!!!

ranger_lp said...

Doug...did you see the calls the other night the home plate umpire was making? The ones that caused Boone to get thrown out? I know we rarely defend Boone, but he had a valid point that the calls were slanted toward one team and not the other. And he went out and defended his team. I can't blame him on that.

It's hard enough to manage a team with all these injuries. Boone doesn't play...the players play. And they have not been hitting and pitching because some of these players are AAAA players and not major league level players. Maybe it's wearing on him? Blame Ca$hman for all of this. I think he has colluded with the other GMs to put on the field a competitive team but not one that can win the World Series. But I'm the one with the tin foil hat...

JM said...

Boone doesn't play, but his choices about who does and doesn't can be pretty damn questionable. So it goes with him.

AboveAverage said...

I guess I’ll refrain from any more negativity towards Booone for a little while.

No more kibble, kibble, kibble, or piddle, piddle, piddle or ManAnger jokes for 72 hours.

( a Memorial Day weekend reprieve )

But I do have a serious question.

This one goes out to Carl from Branford.

WHICH DR PHIBES? The Vincent Price construct from the first film or from Dr Phibes Rises again?

It’s an important question because their motivations and actions are vastly different.

And I watched them both at the Summit Drive-In theater in Branford, Connecticut (when it still existed across from McDonalds on West Main Street)

Doug K. said...

Ranger -

I'm not saying he was wrong. I'm saying that it looks to me like he is beginning to unravel.

There's a lot of pressure on him. To make it worse, he is forced to do a press conference after every game where he essentially lies. Unless you are a megalomaniacal narcissist sociopath, which Boone is not, that will take its toll.

I hope I'm wrong but he does not look well.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hey, Boone is the only one providing entertainment value out there.

I do wish he would occasionally do something unexpected, like use a .200 hitter to bunt the tying run into scoring position.

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ AA...ah so there was a drive-in up "on the hill" as Branford residents would say.

The second Vincent Price masterpiece where he tries to re-animate his wife in the Egyptian river.

By The way, if you were still here when they had the cinema complex across from the DOT commuter lot right off exit 55 on I-95...well the pandemic did them in as they were just sold and will be knocked down. No doubt to make room for a Costco or other retail giant.

AboveAverage said...

Boone has promised a personal change…..perhaps this will be evident during today’s game.

Hey Doug - if it wasn’t so mean spirited- you and I could put together a series of very funny pieces on our bigleaguered manager.

AboveAverage said...

Carl, we called it Hamburger Hill because every fast food establishment on the planet had a location on it.

And I completely agree with Rises Again.

A proper choice.



BTR999 said...

I kinda like Dark Aaron more than the slimy apparatchik who materializes in the post game pressers. Maybe one day he’ll go totally berserk like Claude Rains at the end Of “Mr Smith Goes To Washington” and start screaming “ I’m not fit to be a Manager! Every word they say on IIHIIFIIC is true! Every word about cashman, Steinbrenner and the whole rotten organization! “

BTR999 said...

Vazquez down, Matt Krook up.
We already have too many krooks in this org if you ask me, which you didn’t.

2B. Gleyber Torres (R)
DH Aaron Judge (R)
1B Anthony Rizzo (L)
3B DJ LeMahieu (R)
CF Harrison Bader (R)
LF Isiah Kiner-Falefa (R)
RF Oswaldo Cabrera (S)
C Kyle Higashioka (R)
SS Anthony Volpe (R)

The Hammer of God said...

@ El Duque, I don't know if they looked "overpowering" against Cinci and Oakland. They looked good, okay. But they didn't blow the doors off from the get-go or anything like that.

The Hammer of God said...

@ Carl/AA, I sure liked the first Phibes movie, with the violin playing wench, was it not? I don't know if I saw the second one. Don't remember it. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. But I enjoyed the first one for sure. Very artsy. An "art" movie. Killer style! It's worth watching just to see that girl playing the violin, with fashion model looks to kill.

BTR999 said...

I came in from working outside and thought Yankees Classics was on.

Pitching seemed like it was good and a clutch AB by IKF in the most important AB of the game.

Cole tomorrow

The Hammer of God said...

@ btr, It was about as thrilling a win as in the movie "Slapshot", when the Charlestown Chiefs were declared the winner of the Championship game because the other team beat up the referee.

So tomorrow, will the Yankees win the series when the Friars' manager turns into a werewolf and bites the home plate umpire?