Saturday, May 6, 2023

Sea Change

Lately several posts on this blog were loaded with ship analogies. Well, as long as we are gazing at our navals, I would like to add one more.

Sea Change. 

As Yankee fans we have come to expect a higher standard, an expectation of winning or, at a minimum, competing at a high level. It feels like our birthright. 

We don’t tolerate losing easily and, in the case of the Yankees, we have good reason for this.

However, in the broader tapestry of New York sports fandom we actually root for quite a few teams that, to be kind, underperform. 

The last time the Jets won it all I was so young my list of impressions included a passable Geraldine and, with the exception of last year, my New York Giants have been one of the NFL’s worst teams for quite a while. Don’t get me started on the Knicks.

My point is that we root for a lot of bad teams. We've sat through a lot of losses. We developed an ability to, if not forgive, at least understand and to a certain degree, accept ineptitude both on the field and in the front office and continue to watch. 

Good. Because we’re going to need it.

Which brings me to the Sea Change.

Even as the Giants and Knicks rise to the point of cautious hope and watchability along with the conviction  that they are going in the right direction, The New York Yankees are headed for Davey Jones' Locker. It’s the one right next to Stanton’s. 

The Yankees are not good. They are not going to be good. Not for a LONG time. 

We are going to have to get used to the idea that they are the 1970’s Giants, The Knicks of the 2000’s.  A clueless combination of mediocre players and big names past their prime combined with horrific management both in the clubhouse and in the front office. 

Whatever it was that enabled us to watch those crappy New York teams must now be applied to the Yankees. We need to care and not care at the same time.

We are going to need to find new ways to enjoy the games. No longer surprised at the error, or the overturned call, but to take delight in Volpe’s base hits or his great relay throw that ALMOST got the runner. Because “almost” is now the default.

I have one solution.

I think both Hoss and El Duque referenced the SS Minnow recently and someone else (Rufus?) mentioned the concept of "The Gilligan". Let’s take it one step further...   

The Yankees have a fake WWE championship belt that they bestow to the player that won the game. I say we should have  "Gilligan’s Hat”. We give it to the player that bungles that crucial moment and keeps us all stuck on the island. 

Because this show is going to run for years.

Last night’s Gilligan’s Hat Recipient: Jake Bauer

Sea Change.

23 comments:

13bit said...

Yes, Doug. And as someone who was wowed as a young boy by Namath, Maynard, Sauer and the others, then was robbed of 40 years of my adult life waiting for a repeat, I'm leery. Not just older and wizened, but brooding and bitter. Even though, I'm loyal, I jumped off that train. I would do that with the Yankees, so I'm now resigned to mouldering and rotting, like a barnacle exposed to air on the broken hull of a shipwreck.

NOTHING WILL CHANGE as long as Lord Trashman is in charge, and he serves at Hal's whim. Hal doesn't care. Brian is a moron. End of story. As simple as that. The players? Brian chose them. I don't blame them. Same with the coaches, trainers, bat boys, stat people, hot dog vendors and everybody else. Fish stinks from the head. Shit rolls downhill, pinstripes tear at the butt crack. However you want to put it, this is where we are. And, unlike, Harry Truman, the buck stops nowhere here.

Brian wants credit for everything good - which is pretty much nothing - and makes excuses for everything else, which is pretty much, well, everything.

Start polishing your rocking chairs. It's going to be a long wait.

13bit said...

excuse my fast typing and typos. I meant "even though I would NOT do that for the Yankees." meaning I'm a loyalist, which rhymes with "royalist." Does this put me the same league as those who support the English monarchy?

Ugh

The Hammer of God said...

Fabulous idea, Doug! I'm lovin' it! Let's do it from now on!

So Jake Bauers is the first winner of the Gilligan's Hat Trophy. That's going to be a trivia question answer a quarter century from now. I hope they win one damn championship before then, but I'm won't be waiting on the edge of my seat.

I didn't even tune in for last night's nightmare. The way I figure, there will be three types of Yankee losses against the Tampons this year. (1) Tampons win by a blowout landslide. (2) Tampons squeak out a win late in the game. (3) Yankee manager Buffoone "Stupid Raccoone" Ba-Boone throws away a sure win on the way to the bank by blowing a huge lead in the late innings and then losing in extra innings.

The game last night sounds like it was going to be type #1, but then morphed into type #3. I expect Harrison Bader to hit somewhere around .180 to .220, but with very good power. (Yankee rocket science coaching: exit velocity and launch angle.) And that's what he's doing. Hitting a home run every week or so, while hitting .180. Classic new modern Yankee baseball.

I still predict that the Tampons will sweep the season series. It's going to be a very painful 2023 for the Yanks.

The Hammer of God said...

Type #2, I meant. Goddammit, we're all typing like idiots today, eh?

JM said...

Who the fuck is Jimmy Cordero?

Carl J. Weitz said...

Sadly, MLB has a fake WWE-like championship belt given by Manfred to the team that saves the most on payroll arbitration year-over-year. It's Cashman, Hal and the Bloated Front Office for sure. But it's the people that run the sport that has made the current game an inferior product.

From 2019 by the CBS Sports:"According to a report from the Athletic, MLB awards a $20, WWE-style championship belt to the team that keeps salaries the lowest in arbitration.
MLB told the Athletic that the belt is "an informal recognition of those club's salary arbitration departments that did the best."

The Hammer of God said...

It must be Gilligan's fever. Yeah, it's contagious.

The Firm's Radioactive seems appropriate:

Got to concentrate. Don't be distracted.
Turn me on tonight. Cause I'm radioactive.

Ra-di-o Ra-di-o Ra-di-o-active

HoraceClarke66 said...

"We need to care and not care at the same time."

Brilliant, Doug!

And great, Manfred honors cost cutting through arbitration. Yeah, that's what you want to concentrate on: public debates in which your teams declare that their very best players really aren't that great or worth that much. Should do wonders for attendance.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Speaking of which: TB drew all of 25,000 last night, many of whom, of course, were probably Yankees fans.

I don't care about their wretched stadium anymore. That town does not deserve a major-league franchise.

The Hammer of God said...

I used to watch Gilligan's Island re-runs all the time when I was young. Never tired of the theme song, either. Whoever wrote that song was pretty damned good! Able to tell squeeze an hour and a half tale into a thirty or forty second song.

And yeah, Doug, the Jets. What more can we say about the Jets? I had the misfortune of becoming a Jets fan when I saw a Jets game on late night tv when I was about 11, I think. Saw Johnny "Lam" Jones make a game ending touchdown catch in the end zone for a Jets win. But I think it might have been a pre-season game. Either that or an early regular season affair that was soon forgot by everyone. Lam Jones turned out to be a bust. Just like almost every Jets draft pick. They did have some really great picks too, like Al Toon, but he was wasted on this sad sack of a franchise. Now they've brought in another great former QB to try to re-capture the glory of the '68-'69 Super Bowl Champion Jets. Why do I feel like this is going to result in another Boomer Esiason, Vinny Testaverde, Brett Favre good-but-not-good-enough championship failure? It's ingrained in Jets fans. Especially for those who never even experienced the Super Bowl III victory, a Super Bowl Championship for the Jets seems about as close to impossible as impossible can get.

And now the New York Yankees have joined that club of losers. Perpetual misery on Gilligan's Island. What can you do, except laugh?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Boating analogies are very appropriate. But the wrong boat… The SS Henry Steinbrenner was built for Kinsman (the Steinbrenner shipping concern…) in 1901. It sank in 1953. “In the end, 17 men were lost in the tragedy. ”

HoraceClarke66 said...

We covered that, Beauregard. You're not reading the column!

—J.J. Hunsecker

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hammer, I remember there was a thing people used to do that consisted of singing the words to "Amazing Grace" to the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme—and vice versa. Funny how it works.

Doug K. said...

Beau,

Hoss in his wheelhouse...

https://johnsterling.blogspot.com/2023/05/the-wreck-of-western-reserve.html

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Some much content, so little time :)

AboveAverage said...

Ginger (aka Tina Louise) is the only surviving member of the cast if GI.

Maybe she’d be willing to uni up and take the field for our 2023 NY Yankees.

I mean she’s only 89 years old.

How much worse could she be?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Wait, that’s another Steinbrenner ship wreck entirely. So that’s two (boats, anyway). How many went down???

JM said...

This team sucks. I don't even watch them lately, I just go to ESPN.com on my phone later in the evening to see how much they lost by.

Critical favorite "Mrs. Davis," by the way, is not as good as the reviews. It's not bad, exactly, but it's all kind of random. When you invent a world where anything can happen, with the emphasis on odd, it's hard to be surprised or wildly entertained when it does. And a lot of it ran out of gas after the first three episodes.

"Dead to Me," on the other hand, is/was more grounded. Fairly unbelievable, sure, but there is something there.

"Barry" should've ended by now. This long, slow, drawn-out ending is getting pretty tedious already.

And the Yankees games this year can't hold a candle to reruns of "The Drew Carey Show." The only pain is that you need to DVD it and then whip through the commercials. On Rewind, the 80s and 90s sitcom channel, which suffers from digital glitching, sometimes unwatchably, thanks to our friends at Spectrum. The shit of Time Warner Cable isn't gone, it just changed its name.

JM said...

OK, "Dead to Me" is very unbelievable, but hey, it's a quirky, bizarre sitcom. Those don't happen in the real world.

Which, unfortunately, the 2023 Yankees do.

edb said...

Yes, Doug, the Yankees look as if they are headed for the doldrums. This could be averted, but not with the Yankee management. They are morons.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Wasn't it the skipper that clubbed Maynard G. Krebs with the skipper's hat?

I'm so confused. Maybe our Miss Brooks can explain it to me.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Hmmm, Our Miss Brooks. Wasn't the Minnow KO'd by a Gale Storm? Wait, wrong show....she was in My Little Margie. Okay, but OMB did have Gale Gordon as a co-star.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Listening to The Master, he has wholeheartedly adopted the 'not surprised' by the strike out, inning ending double play or complete meltdown during the game, he expects it and is simply reporting,,,,, what a sad sad season it must be for him,,,,AND for us!