Wanna cry? Wanna bundle all your hopes and dreams, and mail them to Utica? Want to gaze wide-eyed into the open jaws of Hell? Of course, you do; you're here, right? As Fred Nietzsche once wrote, if you gaze too long into the Abyss, the Abyss gazes back at you. So, here is your daily glance, via Baseball Reference:
The list of Yankee regular third basemen over the last 10 years.
Wow. This isn't Utility Man for the KC Royals. It's the fabled hot corner for the storied New York Yankees - a cavalcade of scrap heap pickups, stars past their sell-by dates and hopefuls who didn't pan out. There is no .300 hitter, no 30 HR slugger. (In our most hopeful season, 2018, Miggy finished at .297 with 27 dingers. Note: He's now in Oakland, and he just blew out a knee and will undergo surgery. Hang in there, Mig Man!) There are delightful human beings (Never Nervous Yangervis, Gio Urshela) and some who, to put it charitably, disgraced themselves on multiple levels (Josh "Jackie" Donaldson.)
Browse modern Yank history, and you'll find a stark inability to develop 3B. Our best - ARod, Boggs, Nettles - came from other organizations. We raised Pat Kelly, Randy Velarde, Mike Pagliarulo and Mike Lowell, whom we traded for next to nothing. It's as if the ghost of Clete Boyer forever haunts us.
Even today, in the Yankees Top 20 prospect lists, the 3B position sucks air. Our recent best hopes - Oswald Peraza and Oswaldo Cabrera - have fizzled. (Oswaldo could start opening day. He no longer switch hits; is that a good sign?) Beyond them, our best bet is probably Tyler Hardman, who hit 26 HRs last year at Double A, but batted only .237. He's 25.
Yesterday, Aaron Boone disclosed that LeMahieu will miss opening day with a badly bruised foot. He'll start 2024 on the IL, which is wise, considering that we seen the Bad Toe DJ, and he hits .220.
Last winter, when the Death Barge traded for Juan Soto, a burst of excitement rose across the Yankiverse. We were gonna sign Yamamoto! We were gonna rise again! Now, the loss of Gerrit Cole and a rather dismal spring training have sobered everybody up. As you read this, Cooperstown Cashman is surely combing the waiver wires for a third baseman with a pulse.
Make no mistake. We have reached SNAFU, the military acronym that stands for Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. Don't stare too long at 3B. It might stare back.
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19 comments:
And if that wasn't enough, someone named Oscar Gonzalez fouled a pitch off his face. How the hell does that happen?
The IL grows long.
Haiku Tuesday - Low I Q Edition
DJ SCOOBY-DO
RUH—ROH! BONE BRUISE! LEMAHIEU!
SHAGGY NOT AT THIRD
Just yesterday I posted Gonzo would be a breakout surprise. I meant to say he would surprise by breaking his face..
HAIKU TUESDAY : (bonus edition)
Foul balls break faces
Broken Bridges Falling Down
We are all Boone’d
I love these haikus
Tuesday morning make my day
Beats thinking of Yanks
After last year, why wasn't DJ wearing a special shoe that had titanium reinforcements or a steel toe or something? This doesn't seem like brain surgery. Old guy, bad toe, has a nasty habit of killing his foot with fouls. Just wear something to protect that foot, and fuck him if he complains about it. For the money he's getting, he does what he's told to stay on the field.
I mean, Jesus H. Christmas, already.
If Hardman hit .237, he’d be #3 or 4 on this team
Empty base for years.
The Oswalds a grassy, no.
Moncada at last?
Oh El Duque - I see what you did there.
Here's one more...
Brosius dives no more.
Nettles only catches cold.
Get Ke'Bryan Hayes.
Even Clete Boyer was a pick-up from our docile friends, the old Kansas City Athletics.
We have to go back to Gil McDougald, rookie-of-the-year in 1951. But after 3 seasons mostly at third, he was all over the place in the infield, at short and second. Played very well—he was sort of the pre-injury DJ of his day—but by the end he had actually put in more games at second.
You have Billy Johnson, who had a couple of outstanding years at third. But his career was partly derailed by WW II, and Stengel platooned him with Dr. Bobby Brown, which he hated. Before that, you have to go all the way back to Robert Abial "Red" Rolfe of Dartmouth, who had some outstanding years on those great, 1930s-40s teams.
But hey, how many guys has Cashman signed or developed at ANY position?
And I guess Miggy won't have more hits than the Oswaldii put together. But it's still possible they'll tie.
HI Q ! Tuesday ~ One mo'er fur'da road
Grinning Mindless Fans
Cash Sucking Dyson Machines
Soylent Green is here
EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!
Horace Clarke makes The New Yorker. Yes, The New Yorker:
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/04/01/the-new-york-game-baseball-and-the-rise-of-a-new-city-kevin-baker-book-review
The KC Athletics were our minor league affiliate...
The grass grows green now
Our team moves north to the Bronx
SNAFU does describe
The New Yorker. I'm impressed. Way to go, Hoss!
2024 Yankees: F.U.B.A.R. (fucked up beyond all repair)
Hoss: You're number one, with a bullet! Awesome!
@ JM, After last year, DJ needed a bionic toe replacement. After last year, Rizzo should've RETIRED or got a bionic head replacement.
Seriously, the only thing we can do is bitch and moan about all the old geysers on this team. Since Cashman never trades away anyone old and useless, we're just going to have to watch these old guys mucking away until their contracts run out. Like watching paint dry, only worse, because this is excruciating. Someone should do a new Twilight Zone episode about how the New York Yankees, the greatest sports franchise ever, is now an impotent old toothless dinosaur, only good at making money for its owner.
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