Accused of "executive bungling," inattention, malfeasance and incompetence in dealing with the worsening sub-prime crisis, Alphonso ( US Govt. photo ID on right ) yesterday resigned his post as Secretary of HUD.
" I got tired of filing, xeroxing, typing and collating, " the Secretary fumed. And as for those contracts I handed out to friends and cousins for re-building New Orleans, these guys were well qualified."
When a Washington Post reporter pointed out that over $3 Billion seemed to be missing from his Agency, Alphonso waxed that, "( he ) couldn't be expected to account for every nickle." In a fit of pique, Alphonso pointed out that, " we spend that much on vending machine repairs each afternoon in Iraq.
" I may have occasionally mis-remembered what was supposed to go to New Orleans and what was supposed to go to the Gulf Coast of Mississippi but, in the end, we are making great progress." As for the allegations that Alphonso misappropriated 604,000 ballpeen hammers destined for the Gulf Coast, Alphonso gave me a blank look.
Bush called Alphonso " a good man who has been my friend for many years, and I accepted his resignation with regret. Just like I did with Brownie and Alberto."
Alphonso plans to spend more time on personal problems and his first love, baseball.
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