Since our inception, we at IT IS HIGH have sought to provide fans with an honest glimpse into the often harsh world of baseball through the prism of American humor.
Unfortunately, a mishandled attempt at "funny" can inflict pain in ways never intended. And then lawyers get involved.
Well, we offer this sincere apology.
In recent weeks, we tried desperately to conjure up a funny "rivalry" between the Yanks and the Tampa Bay Rays (formerly the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.)
Well, it's just not right.
It never worked. Our hearts weren't in it. We were wrong. We ended up shooting off our big fat, stupid mouths and saying awful things that just were not right. Worse, we said them about a hard-suffering, but truly great and successful, franchise.
We embarrassed ourselves. We embarrassed Yank fans everywhere. We should be hauled out into the back lot and slapped red. We should be kicked like a hounddog. We should be shut down. That's what we should be. Shut. Down.
We apologize to the good people of Tampa and Ray fans everywhere.
You Tamponites are a fine old bunch of chips. You deserved better than us.
Three cheers for the Rays!
Hip hip, Hoo Rays!
Hip hip, Hoo Rays!
Hip hip, Hoo Rays!
Friday, April 4, 2008
A Correction, Retraction and Apology
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Tampa Bay Rays
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10 comments:
el duque, have you gone Mookie on us?
I still loathe Tampa.
Hey Tampa, I hope Garza pukes on Bartlett during pregame warmups you bunch of cramps.
There.
Them Rays better not rile Farnsy. He'll kill one. And look sharp doing it.
I'm holding my apology 'til then.
Don't drag the rest of us into your shithouse, Duck. You are an embarrassment to the league.
You guys are right.
I don't know why I have to shoot off my big fat, ugly, stupid mouf.
Worse. I think I cost us a ballgame tonight.
I have to go out and get drunk.
Drunk?
Sad.
To think that millions used to look up to you.
Fraud, I'm a failure.
A miserable failure.
My only real friend is in the bottom of this bottle.
And now we've lost a game.
All. Because. Of. Me.
I blame Joey G.
Just because he's puking and feverish, that's no reason for him to allow some bum dragged from the Bowery to do the job that he was selected to do over Don Mattingly and Tony Orlando.
He abrogated his sacred responsibility.
You? To. Blame?
Duckman, you are a blemish on God's scrotum.
He should never have brought in LaToya.
I wrote good things about LaToya when we signed him. I was wrong.
I wrote bad things about the Rays, too. And now I fear that the giant has been awoken.
All. My. Fault.
REPENT NOW!
If anyone had bothered to read my scouting reports from Spring Training at Tampa..........
1. You would have read that Hawkins sucks. I believe I said, " who gave him a ticket on the bus?"
2. I said that Farnsworth was the " best pitcher out there ( after a 1,2,3, inning ). Which of you didn't immediately say, " he's full of crap?"
3. And the traber thing...he is only supposed to pitch to one batter.
4. Nice work by Ian, though. I wonder if he can play first base?
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