Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Career Change Looming for Joba?

In the worst of all possible worlds, Joba ( in response to Alphonso's posting of Dr. Andrew's direct line yesterday ), is headed to the shoulder clinic of the famed surgeon.

Given the Yankee's Karma of the 21st century ( Ok we beat the Mets in 2000 ), Joba will soon have Humberto Sanchez, Andy Brackman and this year's top pitching pick as roommates.

When he returns to the Yankee system in 2010, and everyone genuflects to the fact that he soft-tossed 25 pitches off a mound for the Chalreston Dogs, he will be transformed into Darrell Rasner.

For those of you who listen to the games on your iphone, that observation translates as follows: little control and command of any pitch, and a fastball that bumps up the radar gun at low to mid-eighties ( still, Darrell shows up for every start and is rarely known to have surgery or an important win).

So I thought we might flash forward to Joba when he returns, post surgery, and his baseball is behind him, likely peaking , at age 33, in the GCL with a record of 3-7. Better than Brien Taylor, no?

Standing alertly ready in his " sales rep. blue and grey polyester combination," Joba (seen above, and to the right ) will be selling home cleaning products at discount ( of course....it is America, after all ) to his former schoolmates, family and teachers in Enid, Oklahoma. In today's " flash forward sequence, " Joba awaits the mini-van from the senior, assisted living center. This will be a good day for the former Yankee ace.

As you can see, our Joba has lost considerable weight and muscle mass, but he retains that alert and confident look in his eyes. His pitching arm, now oddly angled on a permanent basis, rests on a two-year old, slightly used Maytag washer, on sale for $890.

As an aside, with any purchase over $88.50, each Oklahoma resident gets a free kitchen fan, adaptable to the window frame of any Winnebago or permanent trailer installation.

Joba will be eligible for his first all star game, at the new Yankee stadium, in 2020.

It was great while it lasted.

No comments: