Friday, May 15, 2009

Yanks Recreate Iconic Fantasttc Four-style Victory Over the Skrulls (Jays)

Last night, we played the way the Fantastic Four battles a superpowerful nemesis, like Puppet Master or Donald Trump: Sue throws a force field, Johnny burns the bastard, Ben clobbers his ass and Reed does his Cherry Twizzler thing -- simultaneously.

Unity.

Team work.

There is no "I" in Four.

And then, in the clubhouse, they feud like Reggie and Thurman.

Last night, CC (Thing) battered the Jays. Brett (Invisible Girl) took third on Cervelli's (also Invisible Girl) force-field controlled hit and run. Hideki (Human Torch) homered. Mariano (Mr. Fantastic) saved the 9th.

Sometimes, we're the World's Greatest Comic, and sometimes we're Archie and Jughead.

As Archie and Jughead, we lose.

Also, we lose as the Avengers, because everybody tries to be Thor. (Wait a minute. INSPIRATION: SHOULD JETER'S NICKNAME BE "CAPTAIN AMERICA?" Dammit, everybody: That's the el duque quote of the day!) Not sure about the X-Men here. Class? Help?

7 comments:

Mike from Buffalo said...

I think you're on to something here. Jason Giambi would be The Beast. Edwar Ramirez... Cyclops (only when he's wearing his specs) Steinbenner would be Professor X.

Mr. Grammar Guy said...

sPeL CheK!

el duque said...

That's our signature stile.

Riddering said...

My NYY Avengers:

Jeter = Cap
A-Rod = Hawkeye
Cano = Quicksilver
Melky = Scarlet Witch (I couldn't resist.)
Damon = Thor, for the moment
Swisher = Hulk
Teixeira = The Wasp
Mo = The Vision
Sabathia = Hercules
Joba: Rick Jones
Pettitte: Giant Man
A.J. = Namor

/ubergeek

That is my quick conclusion using the current roster. I bet there's a perfect matchup using all generations of the Yanks.

Alibi Ike said...

Actually, the Avengers might be apropos, since

--they're always rotating members on and off the squad.

--they spend a helluva lot of government money, especially when their mansion gets destroyed

--they tend to fight a lot of villains from the future (cf., the 2008 Rays, who will be pesky for years to come)

--the contributions of one of their members (Hank Pym) relies almost exclusively on manipulating biochemistry, yet he manages to screw things up the worst.

el duque said...

Riddering,

I don't see how you can not make Brett Gardner Quicksilver.

Suzyn should be Madam Medusa.

Riddering said...

After tonight, there is no doubt that Gardner is Quicksilver.

I made the rookie mistake of casting for team dynamic rather than skills. *kicks dirt, curses*

If Suzyn is Medusa, I think the next logical step is that Sterling's voice has the power to destroy our planet. He must remain mute for the good of humanity!