Open Letter to Brian Cashman: Hear all those soreheads whining about Yankee money? Sign the new Cuban and shut them up

Dear Mr. Cashman, Sir, Supreme Intellectual Being, Securer of Treasurers and Master of Thy Domain,

You're a busy guy, being in the post-season for a change (ha ha.). So let's not waste time.

Make a call. Wire some money -- you know, skoot, dough, bread, ginga, barp, challobrago -- and sign this Cuban guy the scouts are hyping: Aroldis Chapman. He's 21. He's a pitcher. He's a free agent. Let's make him ours.

Yeah, I know: Cuba...

El Duquecitto. Jose Contreras. Jerry Morales. Mark Cuban.

Forget them.

Think of Kendry Morales, the Angels' Cuban.

And think about this: The Angels, Redsocks and Mets want this Chapman guy.

Let's take him. Now. During the Series. Right now.

Of course, they'll piss and moan about Yankee money. Listen: They'll do that no matter what you do. You cannot appease them. You cannot silence them. For much of this decade, we sat on our hands while Boston, Los Angeles, et al, signed the big free agents (Dice K, Barry Zito, Beltran) and they still blamed us for everything. It's in their DNA. They'll never stop. They love complaining about the Yankees.

So make them happy: Give them something to complain about.

Sign him. Whatever it takes. The more we pay, the more they whine.

Music to our ears.

King of Dreams, Engineer of Octobers, Sir...

IT'S CASHMAN TIME!

It's time for an A-Roll for Arold!