Bernie Madoff's biggest mistake: Not buying a baseball team.
It would have been the perfect cover, the perfect serendipity, the greatest scam of all.
Every year, he'd receive a couple million dollars from the Yankees as his rightful reward for being cheap.
Let's face it: If the owners aren't richer than God, they are at least richer than Buddha. They own baseball teams, fer kricesake. They hold entire metropolitan areas for hostage. They own banks and airlines and multinationals. Kansas City's owner is the former head of Walmart. You think he ever pays a decent wage? Go to the Walmart nearest you and ask the cashier if she has health insurance?
And the cheapest, chistlingest, Scroogiest owners -- they win cash prizes. The Yankees will pay them $25.6 million -- the luxury tax -- the most honest phrase in sports. We'll pay it to the billionaires who don't play to win, because such activity runs against the values of the Men's Club of MLB.
The MLB owners wish they could be the NFL, the most communistic organization in America.
Let's face it: If the owners aren't richer than God, they are at least richer than Buddha. They own baseball teams, fer kricesake. They hold entire metropolitan areas for hostage. They own banks and airlines and multinationals. Kansas City's owner is the former head of Walmart. You think he ever pays a decent wage? Go to the Walmart nearest you and ask the cashier if she has health insurance?
And the cheapest, chistlingest, Scroogiest owners -- they win cash prizes. The Yankees will pay them $25.6 million -- the luxury tax -- the most honest phrase in sports. We'll pay it to the billionaires who don't play to win, because such activity runs against the values of the Men's Club of MLB.
The MLB owners wish they could be the NFL, the most communistic organization in America.
The best part is what they do with the money they receive from the Yankees: Nothing.
Well, actually, maybe they grind it into their local media and fan base to remind people how bad the Yankees are, how this year's losing season is all because of the Yankees. That way when the owner doesn't want to shell out for his star player, he has cover: It's all the Yankees' fault.
Maybe someday they can change the system and implement a salary cap. Che Guevara lives, but only among the billionaires.
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1 comment:
Each year when the tax hits I get pissed all over again.
Could you imagine a luxury tax in any other industry? "Comcast; you invested too much money in your own infrastructure and operations this year. You need to pay Optimum $20M because they're having a hard time competing"
Fuck you. FUCK YOU. Either institute a salary cap / floor or go the fuck away.
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