"My country is the great Yankeean Empire. My Yankees, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.”
-- Alphonso, circa 1990s --
In the course of human events, it becomes apparent that we as individuals may disagree about issues relating to life, liberty and LOOGY.
-- Alphonso, circa 1990s --
In the course of human events, it becomes apparent that we as individuals may disagree about issues relating to life, liberty and LOOGY.
This happens because baseball is, in essence, merely a game played by former third graders who were sent to the nurse's office with foreign objects up their nostrils; each game, a balancing act of plates on sticks, based on the touch of a fingernail and the migrane hangover of a DH; and also because some fans frankly can't tell their butts from their bleat-holes.
We are accused of being less than Yankee fans. We are told: Love the Yankees, or leave the Yankees.
We are told by the Yankee government and its surrogate, Stalinist spokespersons to shut the hell up and bow unto Javier Vazquez as the new member of the Yankee class of 2010.
We are told to forget history.
And yet history tells us what happens when citizens fans abdicate their responsibilities:
We trade Jay Buhner. We obtain Randy Johnson. We sign Carl Pavano. We finish third.
There will always be those who live for callbacks, who fear losing pageloads or jobs or sponsors, and who believe it a statement of wisdom to proclaim that the people in control know more than we do.
This is how we invaded Iraq, ignored the housing bubble and traded for Kevin Brown.
We do not claim to know more about baseball than Brian Cashman.
But dammitall to fuck, we sure know what it feels like to be pissed on by a baseball team -- and we know it more than he ever will -- that cuts three stallwart heroes for a series of acquisitons that culminates in the return of the Bill Buckner of the Yankees... while expecting us to clap like trained seals... which is the saltiest, sourest, warmest shower of piss we have felt since John Mayberry donned Pinstripes.
My Yankees right or wrong? This day, wrong.
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3 comments:
This should have been written where the first letter of each sentence forms a word or something. Like how Murdoc did it in that MacGyver episode.
But you see, it does spell something. It spells nonsense, which is exactly what the Yanks are doing.
Melky the Mediocre a hero?
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