Sunday, February 6, 2011

10 Expectations of Super Sunday: Because you CAN predict football

I, EL KRESKIN, PREDICT...

1. Terry Bradshaw and Jimmy Johnson will spend 30  minutes in the act of guffawing. Howie Long will show he is thinking by removing his glasses and rubbing his forehead.



2. At some point, we will see sitting in the stands those corporate role models for American manhood: The three rich guys who blew off family and friends to attend every Super Bowl in history. They will be hailed for their virtue.

3. Joe Buck will courageously mention Ben Rothlesberger's "off-season trials and tribulations."

4. When this ad comes on, folks will hit the head. Everybody has already seen it on YouTube. This morning, the viewer count had passed 11 million. As a nation, we have finally achieved white mouse status: We've learned to nose the red button to receive food pellets.



5. Jerry Jones will look more than ever like the Cryptkeeper.

6. Bill O'Reilly will interrupt the President to deliver a lecture on American policy.

7. The fake crowd that surrounds the stage when the Black Eyed Peas perform will be almost entirely white.

8. Somewhere, Alphonso will be drinking hard and mulling more bad things to say about Bartolo Colon.

9. In a dark room, Giants coach Tom "Collapsin'" Coughlin will be sitting alone in silence.

10. Steelers 27, Packers 17

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