The Man Behind The Burger Is A New Yankee

It is Bartolo Colon, working out for the 2011 season. It is obvious that he is also now sporting a "weave."

Rumor has it, Bartolo has expanded to a size 98" waist. If he ever has to pick up a bunt, his belly will touch the ball before his hand.

Which is a good thing because, otherwise, he would tear one of those hammy's of his bending over.

And we all know he lied about his age on his immigration papers. If he isn't closer to 45 than 38. I'll eat this burger

So where is Kei Igawa in this pitching mayhem?

Can you imagine, Kei is lower on the Yankee list than Bartolo Colon?

I think Kei would get another shot in the Bronx only if:

1. Egypt becomes our 51st state.

2. The Dow hits 20,000 by June, and the NASDAQ 14,500.

3. I become a tea drinker and give up alcohol.

4. El Duque joins the Tea Party as Sarah Palin's running mate in the 2012 election.

5. Iraq and Afghanistan replace France, Spain and Italy as prime tourist destinations, and places for trendy weddings.

6. China gives us back all those Treasuries at no cost, as a gesture of good will.

7. Republicans sponsor bills to provide free health care and higher education for all Americans.

Here is hoping that Bartolo never sees the inside of Yankee stadium this season. If he does, the Vegas odds on a Yankee collapse ( id est: last place ) go from 7-2 to 3-2.