Thursday, December 5, 2013

Dan Shaughnessy issues the obligatory "Meh, humbug!"
O, it didn't surprise him. Not one bit. He saw it coming.  He would have written about it in advance - had he cared. Nobody does. The Yankees signed Jacoby Ellsbury? Pttuui. Wake Dan Shaughnessy up if something newsworthy occurs.

Ellsbury was the all-time lone ranger in the Red Sox clubhouse. There was nothing evil or contrived about him. He came to work, did his job, and went home. He seemed to be a content man with no friends and no enemies in the Sox clubhouse.

So goes the spin: Boston fans probably won't even boo Ellsbury - they just don't care. He's nothing. Nobody. Jacoby who? A traitor, you say? Worth booing? Poogh! They'd have to care about losing him, which nobody does.

It works out perfectly for the fat and happy Red Sox front office. After all the things that went wrong in 2011 and 2012 — and all the things that went right in 2013 — Sox ownership has the hammer. There is no dissension in the Nation. Fans are swallowing the club mantra: “We don’t want those long-term, high-priced contracts. We don’t need Ellsbury. We have Gomes and Nava. And JBJ is ready to step in. And now we get a draft pick.’’

Meh. Double Meh. Glad he's gone. Poogh.

I’d call this a win-win situation.

O vell... ve shall zee vot ve shall zee...


Mike said...

Nothing quite like a guy basing a story on himself; if no one really cared about or liked Ellsbury up there in the Sock Hamper, I suspect Ol' Hairy Danny could've avoided the story altogether or at least kept enough of that patented too-cool distance to avoid the need to base the whole thing on a "bet" he made. If there's nothing to talk about (which seems to be the dart he throws closest to a point in this thing), then isn't there nothing to talk about?

Congrats on keeping the coif, DS. If nothing else, it'll keep the laughter down the next time you show up on one of those ESPN docudramas. Some of it, anyway.

John M said...

In a hurry so will keep this short.

Shaughnessy? Asshole.

OK, gotta go.

Alphonso said...

Just be careful what you hope for.

More on 2014 later.