Tuesday, October 11, 2016

This Time The Yankees Must Change Their Policy



I had a difficult time dealing with the fact that we swept Boston, at home, and they still wound up celebrating their spot in the playoffs on Yankee hallowed ground.

So I got out of town, and headed for the left coast where everything is meaningless.  Cool and funky, but meaningless.

After a few too many nights of sipping crown royal in the Firehouse Cafe (Venice Beach ), Imwoke up to read that the election in November here is far more than the one that pits fascism vs. democracy.  There is a California proposition to legalize maryjane, just as they have in Colorado.  So the prospects look far brighter for the economy and the citizenry.

With this uplifting possibility now gripping my outlook, I began to watch the playoffs.  I really worried that the rainout day in Boston could be a momentum changer, and it nearly was.  But watching PAPPI go away with a home field loss helped a lot.  What did irk me, was the minimal coverage of Boston fan faces when that last fly ball was caught.  The tv people just suck and understand nothing.m who gives a crap about endless shots of grown men jumping up and down with rally caps spurting cheap champagne?  And by cheap, I mean it was Korbel.  You could read the labels.

What Yankee fans craved was the look of despair and pain on the faces of the creepy Boston faithful. They were suffering.  The agony of defeat can be worse than what Yankee fans have suffered for the passed several years, and that is ennui.  Boredom.  Nothingness.  Show me the pain, damn it!

And now to my point.  As I watched the playoff teams...all of them...one common difference to the Yankees is evident, aside from the talent gaps.   The predominance of fur faces and outrageous hair.  The Yankees are the last "White Bread" team in the sport.  Anyone notice Hunter Pence?  Anyone even recognize Andrew Miller?

The Yankees can't win with the clean shaven, crew cut look anymore.  They need fur and dreadlocks. Big time.

My fear is that owner Hal has no testosterone and, therefore can't tolerate it in others.

We have to make this change.  It is time.

12 comments:

Samson said...

If they do that I will sign!

Anonymous said...

AGREED...... IF THERE IS JUST A SLIGHT "CHANCE" THAT A STAR PLAYER WON'T COME PLAY FOR US FOR THAT REASON, THEN WE MUST SCRAP THE RIDICULOUS "LOOK UP TO OUR YANKEE HEROES" LOOK, AND GET WITH THE TIMES.......OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE HEARD A FEW TOO MANY STAR PLAYERS REFER TO "HATING" OUR POLICY..........IT'S GONNA BE 2017......LETS GROW THE FUCK UP.

Tom said...

Thurman Munson had an awesome porn-stache!

I'll bet Oscar Gamble wore a few furs. Reggie definitely did. How did the Stein-Nazis decide that facial hair was verboten?

Somebody should send Hal a package from one of the Colorado dispensaries. Lighten up, dude!

Anonymous said...

My Dear Alphonso,
Did you notice how Bruce Bochy managed the ninth inning tonight just the way Joe Girardi would have done???
Would love to see Hal Steinbrenner with the Hunter Pence look...

Anonymous said...

IN THESE PLAYOFF GAMES, YOU CAN'T HAVE A SHITTY BULLPEN LIKE THE GIANTS HAVE, ESPECIALLY LATE IN THE GAME............ WE MUST GET CHAPMAN (OR JANSEN) FOR NEXT YEAR..............AND GREAT NEWS ON OUR END.....GREG BIRD GOT AN RBI DOUBLE IN HIS 2ND AT BAT TODAY IN THE AFL........

el duque said...

Let my people grow.

John M said...

God, I look at other teams and they generally just look like guys I expect to find waiting on line for the latest hipster brunch spot or sitting on the corner of the street asking for change. The completely clean look we've fallen into over the years is extreme, granted, but I also don't want to see a motley bunch of lumberjacks, ZZ Top wannabes and Manny Ramirezes running around in pinstripes. These guys look like clowns and/or slobs. (We'll leave CC's girth and baggy uniform out of it for now.)

There's a middle ground to be had, where the team looks like a team and still gives individuals the freedom to sprout a Sparky Lyle or Mattingly and have hair that hangs over the collar. If you can grow your hair and look like Thor, why not. But most guys can't, and to just give them carte blanche isn't to my liking, strictly due to aesthetics. Maybe we need a team stylist or some kind of hair Art Director who helps players achieve a look they like without the lack of taste and restraint that's rampant on other teams.

Stay professional, look professional, but stop using the Marine Corps as a grooming model. I could live with that. If you saw the "Real Sports" episode recently about the national anthem and the militarization of American sports, it's clear that any step away from the current rules is welcome.

David Crosby said...

Let the freak flags fly!

Alphonso said...

I think the best response of all is; " maybe we need a kind of hair Art director."

That creates a whole new job category. I love it.

But would he have to report to Brian Cashman?

KD said...

The Duck Dynasty look or, even worse, the redsock look. No thanks.

I'm Bill White said...

I think John Sterling should lead the revolt. He had 70s bush in the 40s.

I'm Bill White said...

Just to tie the loop, I'm pretty sure Suz had 40s bush in the 70s.