Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Campaign slogans for Curt Schilling



Can't run a business, can't broadcast games... why not elect him!

Homophobic Fever: Catch it!

Here's the pitch: Low and in the dirt.

Vote for Curt, or he'll eat your town.

Tolerance: Kiss it goodbye!

A business record as bloody as his sock.

The national treasure... (outside of Rhode Island.)

Because he's run out of other careers.

"Rump! Rump! Rump!"

Who needs health insurance, anyway?

He ended one curse. Let's start a new one!

He'll paint the truth like he painted that sock. 

Save the whale!

(Note: I get it that some of you like his politics: Fine. I respect your opinion. But seriously... vote Redsock?) 

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

ONCE AN ASSHOLE, ALWAYS AN ASSHOLE......WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

F@CK SHILLING....LETS GET BACK TO OUR DEAL FOR CHRIS SALE......I JUST READ A MAJOR NEED FOR THE WHITE SOX THIS OFF SEASON IS PRODUCTION FROM THE CATCHERS POSITION.....THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A CATCHER!...THIS IS OUR CHANCE NOT TO GET RAPED IN A DEAL..... HOW ABOUT BRIAN MCCANN (C).... JUSTUS SHEFFEILD (LHP) ..... JORGE MATEO (SS)......RASHARD CRAWFORD (OF).....AND JORDAN MONTGOMERY (LHP).... IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH, TOSS IN ONE OF OUR HARD THROWING RELIEF PITCHERS FROM THE MINORS MAYBE A TAYLOR WIDENER (RP).....NOW DON'T TELL ME THAT ISN'T ENOUGH!!!....

el duque said...

The rent is too damn high!

Local Bargain Jerk said...


In any other election year, Curt Schilling would be the biggest douchebag in the world of politics.

What's sad about this is that the arc of his campaign is so easy to predict:

1) He will run.

2) Elizabeth Warren will point out that, despite his "Less Government" rhetoric, he took a $75 million handout from the State of Rhode Island.

3) She'll also point out that he lost the $75 million leaving nothing to show for it.

4) She'll further point out that Mr. Less Government declared personal bankruptcy to get out of his debts relating to this whole debacle.

5) Nos. 2-4 are facts. Schilling may or may not be able to defend himself.

6) Despite what anyone might think about Elizabeth Warren's politics, she represents her constituents well. The State of Massachusetts enjoys national exposure because of Warren and her constituents realize this. It will be difficult for anyone to win against her, let alone a douchebag like Schilling.

7) Schilling will get clobbered in the election, if he even wins in the primaries. His Republican opponents will also no doubt be delighted to point out Nos. 2-4 above.

8) Regardless of when he loses, Schilling will claim the reason he lost was that the media was against him from the get-go and that he never had a chance.

9) Schilling will never understand that the real reason he has no chance is because he's a hypocrite and a douchebag.

You heard it here first, on a Yankees blog.

el duque said...

Well put, LBJ.

Anonymous said...

EL DUQUE...TAKE OUT SHEFFIELD.

John M said...

Numbers 2-4 may be facts, but facts, like the media and all fact-checking websites, have a liberal bias and are elitist. So I expect Schilling to dispute every one of them.

el duque said...

CAPS,

YOU'RE RIGHT. NO WAY DO WE TRADE SHEFFIELD. WE GAVE UP TOO MUCH - ANDREW MILLER - TO GET HIM.

El Duque, writing in caps to honor you.

Anonymous said...

MUCH OBLIGED el duque