Monday, October 2, 2017

Ahem... about those predictions we made... JOHN M, TAKE YOUR PRIZE

You can't predict baseball, Suzyn. Nevertheless, last March, that's exactly what we did. We threw down and asked IIHIIFIIc thug readers to clutch their hoary balls - the crystal ones, of course - and predict the number of Yankee wins in the 2017 regular season.

By the way, the Yankees this year won 91 games, baby, 91.

Here's what I said: "The Yankees will win in the neighborhood of 90-91 games, behind the slugging of Aaron Judge, who will become the premier power hitter in baseball..."

Actually, no, that's not what I said. It's what I wish I said, because then, man, I could really be smart-mouthing everybody this morning. I would be the coolest guy on the Internet. In fact, I was mistaken, misinformed, misdirected, misflubbed... I predicted 83 wins, third place, no wild card and Yankee turmoil.
Some of my exact projections:
"October will end with Brian Cashman booted upstairs to become a full-time Steinbrenner family cabana boy, and his hand-picked successor - I'm thinking Gary Denbo - will take the reigns of Official IT IS HIGH Whipping Mule.. Gary Sanchez will hit 29 home runs and bat .250. He will be hailed as one of the elite catchers in baseball, but his currently planned John Sterling homer holler - "The San-bino" - will not stick... Masahiro Tanaka will win 18 games and finish third in the Cy Young balloting. He will opt-out of his contract and sign a ten-year, gazillion dollar deal with the Yankees, which guarantees that, no matter how great he'll be this year, we will eventually cringe at hearing his name.  6. Jacoby Ellsbury will have a great season, winning Comeback Player of the Year, Yankee team MVP and a Grammy for Best Spoken Word Autobiography. Then, on October 6, he will be traded for a ham hock."  

By the way, I'm still sticking with the "traded for a ham hock" prediction. Just wait. Now... as for Alphonso? As usual, he cheated. In the beginning of his lengthy, meandering, self-righteous tome - regally titled, "Here are my thoughts," he predicted 70 to 88 wins. At the end, he selected 86 wins. So, I guess he beats me in the bean-counting contest. Some of his highlights. 

Pineda is just not credible to me.  I still believe we lost out in the Jesus trade.  He will be 6-10, at best, before September. 5.  CC will be durable and get us in the neighborhood of 12 wins...  Severino will be a surprise on the up-side.  If he gets run support, his record will be highly positive.  I do sense an injury, however, that will not be in his arm.  So, after a run of 4- 5 great outings, and some okay ones, he'll have given us an 8-3 record before he sits... 9.  Bird will remain a revelation at first base...  Ellsbury will be an effective singles hitter and a weak-armed centerfielder for most of the season.  Not enough production for that position. 13.  I think Judge will deliver, big time, and I think Holliday has a good year remaining in his body.  Until, he tweaks a pectoral muscle, that is. We are going to the one-game play-in, for which Hal has committed millions of a fortune he did not make, and does not deserve."

Now, from the rest of you. Here's where things stand - and JOHN M, take a bow. You win the door prize - closest at 92 - one game off.

John M: 92 wins... "surprise of MLB. Pineda will falter, Severino will progress but falter, CC will be CC, Montgomery will be pretty good, Adam Warren will return to the starting rotation, if temporarily... Sanchez hit's .280 and the 29 HRs sounds good to me. Bird will be in the same ballpark (nyuk nyuk). But Judge... Judge will go over .300, confound everyone by striking out half as much or less as a percentage of ABs, and has a good shot at over 30..We'll get stuffed in the playoffs due to lack of pitching. So it goes... Ellsbury will start great, and then go down to injury. Gardner moves to center. Hicks might get his best shot for playing time in left, if he can handle it defensively."

Tom: 93 wins - 2 games off. "Greg Bird is awesome, Gary Sanchez is very good
Aaron Judge alternates between extremes, Tanaka is tough as nails until his elbow ligament finally gives up the ghost in early September...  Pineda gets hot for eight starts and is consistently inconsistent after that... One of these three will have a good perhaps even strong year: Gardner, Headley and Ellsbury. (My money is not on Headley)

Friend of Local Bargain Jerk: 89 wins, 2 games off.  "We win the one-game Selig derby but make a first-round exit in a distasteful loss to the Blow Socks."

KD: 87 wins - 4 games off. "Second in division, wild card!"

Local Bargain Jerk: 87 wins - 4 off. "Jordan Montgomery will be in the rotation and will do well. 6) Cashman WILL, after all, trade for another starter, someone capable of giving us 15 good wins Also: We miss the one-game playoff because there are simply other, better teams.
Mike: 97 wins - 6 off. "And a world championship. "Greg Bird shall lead the way." 

CAPS ANONYMOUS: 84 WINS, 7 OFF - "WISH WE HAD JUST ONE MORE GOOD ESTABLISHED STARTER. IT COULD MEAN PLAYOFFS OR NOT. NICE WORK CASH." 

JJ in MA: 82-83 wins - 8 off.  "Bird, Sanchez and Judge are the team to watch, plus whoever else comes up this year. For every time Chris Carter supplies two of three outs in a nine-run first inning, the opportunity to see Bird and Sanchez hit back to back is legitimately fun and a sign of what the Yankees as a whole can and apparently refuse to be. I hope they bring up Gleyber before the season's out. I'm still not convinced Judge can handle major league pitching, but I hope he comes through and I'm glad he's getting a legitimate chance, because he earned it.... 82-83 wins. 84 at the outside."

Joe De Pastry: 79 wins - 12 off "Tanaka will be the only starter with a winning record. Gregorious and Castro will not be as good as last year. Betances gets overworked and is ineffective in August and September."

Shows what we know, right? On that note, tomorrow, I plan to put forth my IRON CLAD projection of tomorrow night's game. And I hope you all will, too. You can predict baseball, Suzyn. You just might not get it right.

16 comments:

JJ in MA said...

Always happy to be a pessimist and be absolutely wrong.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Rawk me Nostradamus, way to go John M!

Alphonso said...

I think there should be two prizes; one for the randomly lucky prediction of " number of wins." That figure which can be selected out of a jar, and which is influenced by poor managing decisions.

The second prize should relate to the insights provided on key performances and developments. For example, I think I predicted Hick's catch, which saved a grand slam and led to a Yankee win. (You'll have to check with Duque to be sure. It was hidden in the details).

I predicted a lot of losses before the end of the third inning. Told people to turn off their TVs and do something else.

And announced games, live, in which the Yankees had a " two run" maximum.

I predicted that the Scranton catcher with the Japanese sounding name would never get a hit for the Yankees.

I provided snack suggestions, built around Icelandic home brew vodka and pickled ( in jalapeño ) quail eggs from east Texas.

Those gems are worth a watermelon , at least.

As for Tuesday: we will score two runs. We can only win if the Twins score 1 or zero.

But it can be done.

Stang said...

I predicted CenterSage would devote an hour to John Sterling.

Anonymous said...

Not bragging, but in March I told my dog that Rob Refsnyder would score the winning run in game 162 of 2017, and that Ref would be directly involved in the play that clinched the Yankees 2017 playoff berth. I just had a good feeling about Ref, you know?

Parson Tom said...

Icelandic home brew vodka! Does that require physical presence in Iceland or just an Icelandic drinking companion? I think I can do that.

Parson Tom said...

And tomorrow night we may be drinking heavily from the loser's chalice. We have beaten Minnesota like the proverbial rented mule so long and so thoroughly, that both sides are due for a karma correction.

Hope I'm wrong, but ....

Anonymous said...

GOD, ALPHONSO'S PREDICTION OF US SCORING ONLY 2 RUNS IS HORRIFYING....

.....BUT I FEEL IT TO BE ACCURATE.

PLEASE LET US WIN THIS GAME, LORD.

WE ALL CAN ACCEPT LOSING A REAL SERIES TO CLEVELAND, BUT THIS 1 GAME SELIG SHIT IS NERVE WRACKING (AND MAKES NO SENSE FOR ANY TEAM AFTER 162 GAME SEASON).

WE NEED TO ATTACK THIS GAME RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.

GET ON BASE.

STEAL WITH GARDY.

MAKE SOME CONTACT!

DON'T WAIT FOR THE HOMER.

GIRARDI.

KILL ME NOW.

HoraceClarke66 said...

John M. was en fuego! Congrats.

Can't worry about the wild card, in that the chances of getting past Cleveland, Houston, and the NL champ are so slight. This postseason is playing with the house money, so why sweat it?

We need to deke out the JuJu gods by playing this one cool. 'One-game playoff? Eh. Aren't the new fall shows starting? Que sera, sera.'

Anonymous said...

Hey ALL CAPS--please see the following video. It explains how to fix a stuck caps key on your computer. You're welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUi0mMuJ1kY

joe de pastry said...

So I'm the biggest loser! Let's keep it going: Twins 13, Yankees 1.

Anonymous said...

HEY DOUCHEBAG anonymous....

MY CAPS STAY FOR A REASON....

YOU'RE SO BRILLIANT....

FIGURE IT OUT.

GET OUTTA HERE, NOBODY LIKES YOU, DOUCHEBAG.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

ALLCAPS RULES!
Don't go changing Brother,,,,,,,, and GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!

JM said...

Snfrgrft...wha? Whazzat? Yeah, OK, got close on the wins but not so much on the details. One or two.

We HAVE to win tonight. Have to. My 93-year-old mom will be very disappointed if we don't.

Yeah, me, too.

Anonymous said...

WAY TO GO KEN!

LETS GO YANKS!!!!

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