Thursday, October 12, 2017

Yankee baseball in mid-October! Who figured? Well... certainly not me.

At some point, after the dust settles, I will dig out the most wrongful, ignorant, blasphemous and puke-worthy things I said about the 2017 Yankees, (and believe me, there are some doozies.) Then I shall begin my Walk of Atonement, mandated by the High Sparrow. I shall march naked down the Canyon of Heroes, while citizens of the Yankiverse hurl feces and shout, "Shame, shame, shame!" Children will run up and tweak my gonads. I will probably crawl the last half-mile, bleeding openly, leaving a trail of tears and shmegma along the glass-strewn gutters. At some point, I will be beaten senseless by the mob and flung into a dumpster. And, all the while, nobody will be happier! 

Listen: Regardless of what transpires on the Texas flood plain, the 2017 Yankees are now an officially certified IT IS HIGH TEAM OF TRIUMPH (TM), which means the owner is entitled to lucrative tax breaks and the benefit of the doubt in future trades. The Yankees are a source of pride. Let me say it aloud: I was wrong about Castro, wrong about El Chapo, wrong about Joe and wrong about - gulp, excuse my retching - w-wr-wrong about Mr. B-B-Brian Cashman and - deep breaths now - wrong about the Wise Supreme Prince Hal Steinbrenner, son of George, breaker of chains, defender of the realm, bastion of the blood line, the rightful and true king of kings! I kneel before thee and beg forgiveness, bahhh, bahhh, bahhhh...

But but but, wait a minute, but but... I'm not yet ready to throw myself into New York harbor over the Toddfather and/or Sonny Gray deals until the last precincts have voted. That means waiting a few years to learn what we surrendered, and my guess remains that a couple emerging players will make those deals hard to stomach, long after Todd's Toms River Little League jersey is retired. (Remember: When he homered in the 2010 ACLS, we thought Lance Berkman was worth it, and then, we slowly watched the rise of Mark Melancon and Jimmy Paredes.) But today, playing ball in mid-October, everything has worked according to plan. And if we get past Houston, it will be hard to argue against any of Cashman's deadline deals without sounding like an insult clown perched on a midway dunking booth.  

Today, New York revolves around the Yankees - though, sadly, this doesn't take much to do. The other main components of NYC sports long ago punted - in the case of the Jets and Giants, literally - leaving only the Yankees as a source of civic pride. It's amazing how bad the Knicks can be; at some point, the law of random sequences should bring about a decent team. The Mets and Jets defy history with their perfect mediocrity. I blame the old money owners - the Dolans, Maras, Wilpons, good god, the Trumps, the Pruits of Southhampton, etc. - whose mediocrity of the soul infects the entire organization. Again and again, we see front offices full of hubris, instead of hunger. But the Yankees are different. Sort of, anyway.

Let's not forget, it took the Yankees a three-year colonoscopy to abandon their moronic policy of perpetually trying to win with over-the-hill stooges - and finally to rebuild with youth. Hal famously said the Yankees will rebuild and contend - far tougher than it sounds. I hope that stays committed to that plan - by continuing to rebuild, and not returning to the Pronks and Vernon Wellses. (A quick sign of this will be whether we re-sign Todd Frazier.) The Yankees have several veterans in need of a new franchise, and their solid autumns should increase their market value. We must always seek to get younger. 

But hell, what do I know? I picked this team for third. I had Tyler Austin pegged for stardom. I'd write more, but I gotta go work out, lose a few pounds. You know how it is: You want to look good for your Walk of Atonement.

11 comments:

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Sir, I respect your masochism, but really, shmegma? That is personal hygiene so please take care of that before being violated by the righteous mob.

Masked Editor said...

Red Sox blogs had an open thread hoping for a Yankees loss..hahahahahahha! Where's Alphonso? We need his curious form of optimism today!

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Out here it is all about Didi
https://nos.nl/artikel/2197583-yankee-gregorius-slaat-indians-uit-play-offs.html

13bit said...

Duque, no need to eat crow. The JUJU Gods don't like to see crows injured or maligned in any way, much less eaten. Listen, it'll still take 3 or 4 World Series victories for me to accept that Cash is not a moron or that Girardi should stay past 2019. I still don't like the Toddfather and I still don't totally trust El Chapo. Does that mean that we might not have some pumpkin magic happening at the moment, instead of pineapple? Maybe. Does that mean that you must bow down and genuflect towards Hoboken? Absolutely not. What we have done is amazing and, frankly, from about halfway through the season, it has all been gravy, considering where our expectations were in March. If the Yankee world were to end tomorrow, we could say "we were doing pretty well." Is this cause to completely eat one's words? No. Let's see what happens, take it a day at a time, and enjoy the ride. I'm still excited about 2018. I still don't want to give Dark Prince Hal my money for his overpriced seats, and Cash might still make some boneheaded moves this offseason. That being said, what a night it was last night!

KD said...

I give Fonzie a lot of credit for this improbable turn of events. Dude has the most powerful negative/reverse JuJu known to man.

KD said...

Here's Sonny's chance to show all of us that he is a Yankee and not just an underwhelming sabermetric wonder. and if MLB has no rules against this, let's get Judge a bat about 8 inches in diameter and 5 feet long. maybe that would help him put some wood on the horsehide.

TheWinWarblist said...

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaassshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alphonso said...

You are the brightest man on the planet, KD.

I have trained for years.

I taught the master the entire field of negative Ju-Ju, although I give him credit for revealing Ju-Ju as a creed to the world.

But Houston is awesome.

We shall rest today, and smile.

Then, the work begins again.

Masked Editor said...

The Astros blog, has named itself The Crawfish Boxes...according to their Twitter, they rotted to face the Yanks...

Anonymous said...

"You are the brightest man on the planet, KD."

Another portent of imminent human extinction.

Anonymous said...

WOW....

YOU'RE SMART SABR DOUCHEBAG.

"PORTENT OF IMMINENT EXTINCTION"

SUCH AN IMPRESSIVE VOCABULARY ON A YANKEE BLOG.

YOU'RE SUCH A DOUCHEBAG CUNT.

HOW'S THAT FOR VOCABULARY?