Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Wall to wall events make Yankees the Donald Trump of baseball teams

Listen: All this has happened in less than a week.

1. Giancarlo hits two HRs, leading joyous opening day win. 

2. Hicks tweaks gonad, returns to home on DL.

3. Billy McKinney called up, singles in first at bat.

4. Tanaka solid, Yanks look invincible.

5. McKinney hits wall, hurts shoulder, channels Dustin Fowler? 

6. Adam Warren hit by come-backer, goes out.

7. Tyler Austin hits two mammoth HRs, wasted when...

8. ... Betances blows up, blows game.

9. Judge plays CF. Yankiverse cringes.

10. Judge mini-slump begins to pinch.

11. Boone pitching moves trigger brutal bullpen collapse.

12. Yanks slink out of Toronto with split that feels like loss.

13. Ben Heller reports bone spurs, out indefinitely.

14. Blizzard delays home opener.

15. Could Yankees lose someone in new, condom-snorting craze?

It's wayyyyy too early to get a read on the 2018 Yankees. But this team is like Trump - nonstop action, never a dull moment, en route to... gulp... who knows? 

At this rate, by June 1, Aaron Boone will be ready to jump from the Tappan Zee. The Yankees need a week where nothing seems to happen - nobody gets hurt, we win more than we lose, nobody gives Vladimir Putin a foot rub, and Alphonso doesn't end up wailing to the gods like William Shatner in Star Trek II.  

When the Yankees obtained Giancarlo, they set themselves up as the ulitimate NYC media target, with expectations so high that anything below a championship will be disappointing. But today, I hope the Yankiverse just slows down at bit. A nice 5-1 win, nobody Ruthian, nobody hurt, nobody collapsing... just a day at the library. 

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You left out:

The Master face plants on Stanton Home Run call.

The return of Andujar

and Greg Bird goes from part of Mount Crushmore to "Forget this guy."

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

I'M STILL NOT TIRED OF WINNING....

JM said...

I'm already tired of losing.

I'm lookin' at you, bullpen.

KD said...

Did you just see that ol' Chief Ellsbury now has a hip problem?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

The one thing that could turn this whole damn thing around is if The Master starts peppering in some of Faux John Sterling's gems, especially the term Mount Crushmore! Maybe, just maybe, The Master IS Faux John Sterling, and he's just workshopping off the radar,,,,,,,,

Anonymous said...

Yes!! We could use a MONTH at the library (as described by our leader) - - pleasant but uneventful, is truly what we need right now.

Boonie's daddy says "my son knows what he's doing" - - I say, "...then let him PROVE it to us geezers on the best BB blog going". LB (No J)

Isiyku Abdulahi said...


I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.