Tuesday, August 20, 2019

The Great Brett Gardner Poetry Slam

From today's comments:



GARDY by Doug K

Gardy is Howard Bealeing.
He's banging on the ceiling.
Instead of bases stealing.
He's banging on the ceiling.

When Judge needs to be healing.
He's banging on the ceiling.
When starters all are reeling.
He's banging on the ceiling.

How is this appealing?
This banging on the ceiling.
This excessive zealing.
This banging on the ceiling.
Gardy Addenda by JM:
I just have a feeling
That banging on the ceiling
Is Gardy's way of dealing
Like Mo Rivera's kneeling.

Gardy Addenda Response by Doug K
So you’re saying he is healing.
By banging on the ceiling.
As opposed to keeling. 
He’s banging on the ceiling.

Emotion he’s unsealing.
By banging on the ceiling. 
Like someone singing “Feelings”
He’s banging on the ceiling. 

Better if concealing.
Not banging on the ceiling 
Then on the basepaths wheeling. 
Not banging on the ceiling.

Or fines he’ll be appealing 
From banging on the ceiling.

And finally, Yankee Long-term Player and Farm System Development Strategy Haiku by 13bit
Cash sits on corn cob.
He wears diaper and blinders.
There is no big plan.

13 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I love Haiku.

Especially when the title is longer than the poem.

Even better when it distills the value statement for the company.

Leveraging synergies in a cross-functional matrix organization to grow value provided to the customer.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

10:07? TEN OH SEVEN? Fuck that.

Mike Fan Cessa said...

Captain is a load
Who lives to pass it all on:
Bang rafters on the road?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Base running errors
Carmines lose to the Phillies
What a joy to watch

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Gary is scary
Domingo gives it right back
I'm going to bed

HoraceClarke66 said...

Great stuff, guys. I think you will all soon have posses.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So, just watched Homer Bailey, the A's 33-year-old journeyman starter with the 6.40 ERA, completely blow away Maybin, Romine, and Tauchman. Two Ks and one weak groundout.

Why is it I can just feel our horses turning back into little white mice?

13bit said...

Domingo is worn out, but we just need to hit our usual 5 homers to win...

Joe of AZ said...

Great Yankee Kryptonite,....a pitcher with a 5+ era :(

JM said...

Why is Herm still pitching?

HoraceClarke66 said...

That was almost a master class on how not to hit in the clutch. Oops, forgive me: How not to hit in situations when even a single would be especially valuable, not that that's putting any pressure on anybody particularly when we're behind early as usual, nope, nosirree, every situations is exactly the same as another because there's no difference between human beings and computer simulacra.

Highlight of the night: Judge with his first pulled home run of the season. Well, maybe that's a sign of something.

Rufus T. Firefly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rufus T. Firefly said...

Glad I didn't watch it.

At least the DEVIL Rays lost also.

Unfortunately, the Trolley Dodgers won.