Sunday, August 4, 2019

The juju gods have now made it impossible for the Yankees to ignore Clint Frazier

Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for July 29, 2019...

Ah, yes, here we are, seven days ago. Such a beautiful summer day. We're a week younger and far more innocent. We've yet to face two tortuous national TV debates, three horrible mass shootings, and the regular string of reckless Presidential tweets, all of which leave us clinging to a once-great baseball legacy to gin up our hopes that this world won't completely turn to shit on our watch.

If there is one thing for sure in this old-time Yankiverse, it is that Clint Fuckin' Frazier - the former great Yankee prospect - will soon be traded. Everybody knows this. He'll be dealt for a middling starter, or a middling reliever, or a six-pack of middling beer. It doesn't matter what we get. The point is, he is high, he is far, he is gone. The Yankees have no need for an OF/DH, especially one with a glove carved from granite.

This certainty - that fuckin' Frazier is gone - gathers more steam after Luke Voit goes down with a "sports hernia," which - dunno about you, but hurts me just to imagine. You don't want to see a guy furiously whipping a 43-ounce bat with his gonads barking like Lassie, with Timmy down a well. When Voit goes down and Frazier still doesn't get the call from Scranton, his invisibility is more obvious than a Kate Smith fart in an elevator: There's no place on the Yankees for fuckin' Frazier. Nothing.

And yet... he stays. Somehow, the trade deadline comes and goes, and "Red Thunder" remains in Scranton.

So, yesterday, Edwin Encarnacion fractures his wrist at the hands of a wild Redsock pitcher - (by the way, a karmic retribution must be made; don't get comfortable, J.D.) - and it STILL doesn't prompt the Death Star to promote Frazier. Instead, we summon Mike "Mighty" Ford, who proudly wears his Yankee hoodie in the dugout last night.

But today, the juju gods have called the question: Late last night, Aaron Hicks removed himself from the game with elbow pain, and he's due today for an MRI. In 2019, there is no way a Yankee goes for an MRI without missing a month. We are about to lose yet another key starter, maybe for the rest of the season. To ignore Frazier now will require some creative ineptness.

Of course, it could still happen. The Yankees have three possible centerfielders: Brett Gardner, Mike Tauchman and Cameron Maybin. In Scranton, last night's OF consisted of Frazier in left, 24-year-old Trey Amburgey (.270, 19 HRs) in right, and a 29-year-old journeyman named Billy Burns, (.269, 2 HRs.) Don't count out Burns, a switch-hitter with speed (11 SB.) Also, the specter known as Ryan McBroom has played RF: he's 27 (.323, 18 HRs), and there is 26-year-old Zach Zehner (.282, 8 HRs). When the subject is avoiding Clint Fuckin' Frazier, anything can happen.

But I say it's time for the Yankees to listen to the drumbeat of the juju gods: Cut the bullshit, and bring up fuckin' Frazier. By now, it's clear that they will keep bringing waves of injuries to the Yankees until fuckin' Frazier is back. Maybe he has a voodoo doll. Maybe he has otherworldly connections. It doesn't matter. It's August 4, we're no longer young and innocent, Aaron Hicks is gone, and we need an outfielder. The answer is staring us in the face. Bring up Clint Fuckin' Frazier!

40 comments:

ranger_lp said...

And he's only made I think 3 errors since being sent down. First they taught him how not to run into walls. Then they taught him how to catch a ball. Maybe they had enough time to give him the throw the ball symposium? Couldn't agree with you more.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Timmy down a well and a Kate Smith fart, all in the same paragraph. Pure Duque gold.

Seems pretty obvious that the death star is doing the service time dance with the red menace. It would not surprise me to see him staying in Scranton on Sept. 1st.

Dandy Prof said...

Totally agree. He has to stay down till Aug 26, I believe, for the team to pick up another year of control. Sept 1 callups come conveniently on the heels of that.

Anonymous said...

No way Frasier joins the Yankees. Keeping him stuck in the minors is Cashman's
way to punish him for not going back to the minors quickly. Cashman would rather
use pitchers as outfielders.

TheWinWarblist said...

Le Grande Rouge!


Fuck you Hal.

Anonymous said...

AMEN, MR. DUQUE....

I'M NOT SURE WHO IT IS THAT IS DH'ING FOR US THESE DAYS, BUT FOR ANYONE TO SAY WE DON'T NEED CLINT'S BAT IS LUDICROUS. (ESPECIALLY NOW THAT ENCARNACION IS OUT).

I UNDERSTAND HOW BAD HE WAS IN THE FIELD BEFORE, BUT LAST NIGHT, I SAW THE SHOW, "HOMEGROWN" AND ONE OF THE SEGMENTS SHOWED HOW HARD HE IS WORKING TO IMPROVE IN THE OUTFIELD.

I WOULD BET ON MR. FRAZIER TO STRAIGHTEN HIS OUTFIELD WOES OUT.

I THINK THE YANKS SHOULD BE BETTING ON HIM AS WELL.

INSTEAD, STUPIDLY, THEY ARE NOT.

.....AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY?

WHY?

.....BECAUSE HE STARED DOWN A SPORTSWRITER?

FUCK THAT.

FRAZIER WAS UPSET AT THE TIME AFTER LOOKING AWFUL IN A NATIONALLY TELEVISED GAME, AND HE REACTED.

IT WAS A MISTAKE, LIVE AND LEARN.

HE IS STILL YOUNG.

.....BUT TO BANISH THIS KID, WHO'S BAT HAS ALREADY HELPED US WIN MULTIPLE GAMES, REEKS OF COOP'S BULLSHIT.

BRING CLINT BACK.

PLAY HIM.

WATCH HIM HELP US WIN.


JM said...

Me no get problem. Coop act stupid--in Bizarro World, good! Team need Clint, so no Clint! Is perfect dummy!

Bizarro Fan like Coop. He good and stupid!

13bit said...

Cut the bullshit, indeed, but who stole the bullshit cleaver? It has been missing for a while.

And, I might add, apropos of nothing, there's a strong chance that, buried in Greenwood or Woodlawn cemeteries, there's more than one man who swooned when Kate Smith farted in his vicinity. You can't predict human nature, Suzyn.

Even if we see Clint again, it WILL be after the 26th and it'll be a brief way to showcase him. He'll be like an internal rental - one of those bookkeeping tricks. As sure as the day is long in June, I am certain that Clint will be an ex-Yankee as of the next Ides of March.

On a side note, the tickets for the 12th should be in my hands by mid week. The Yankees have been taking an inordinate amount of time getting them in the mail, but have no fear. Worse comes to worse, I'll ride up to the Stadium and get them and we should all get to assemble for garlic fries, camaraderie and juju discussion a week from tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

I want him to come up as well but the problem with Clint is not his talent. He would be a perfect DH for the rest of the season. THEY DON"T LIKE HIM. (His teammates) He doesn't fit.

I've written about this before. If he's allowed to comes up watch how perfunctory they are when he does something good. It's sad but it's true.

The Yankees tried to get rid of him at the deadline. They put him in a number of deals with no takers.

I agree with 13 BIT. He could come up now or after the 26th but there is no way that he is Yankee by next year.

Doug K.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Be honest with yourself (if not in your postings to this blog): You didn't expect Frazier to still be with the Yankees as of Aug. 4.

I'll do it: I expected him to be gone, swapped for a coupla ice cream sandwiches (got to feed The Kraken, even when he's on the DL -- right?).

BUT: He'll still Yankees property.

You want to make book on where he is on 4/15/20?

Not me. I've been known to make a wager or two in my time, but I wouldn't put good money down either way.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Bittie and LBJ,

You guys are the cats pajamas for setting this up.

How many huckleberries are in on the fun?

Carl J. Weitz said...

13 bit: " Wow, I've never seen garlic fries served with caraway seeds before"

Vendor: " They aint caraway seeds, it's rodent droppings"!

Anonymous said...

Just read this about Ford.

"He leads the International League with a 1.007 OPS, while striking out only 15.7% of the time and walking at 13.4% clip. He leads all Yankees minor leaguers with 23 home runs, hitting 20 of them to right and right-center."

Sounds good to me.

One more thing on Frazier. I like the swagger. I relate to the not always fitting in as well. I'm intrigued by Duque's postulation that the injuries will stop when Frazier is called up. That he needs to be be playing in the bigs to restore order to the universe.

I will say this for him. When he is up I watch the at bat.

Speaking of which, last year there were SO many players about which this was not true. This year? Really, only Hicks? Right?

Doug K.



Anonymous said...

One more thing. I just decided to look up what the meaning of the name Mahieu is. Since DJ is "The Mahieu"

Apparently it means Gift of God.

Works for me.

Doug K.

smurfy said...

Doug K.:"I agree with 13 BIT. He could come up now or after the 26th but there is no way that he is Yankee by next year." me: Yaymen

DK: "I will say this for him. When he is up I watch the at bat." Me: Exackerly

"Since DJ is "The Mahieu"
Apparently it means Gift of God.
Works for me."

Boy, you're on the beam!

smurfy said...

And the Yay in the amen, is from thinking that Frazier will fan that stroke that amazes me, smacking that ball so regularly and hard, from August 27th. Maybe they'll get used to his self-centered approach to life, learn to take it and joke back; and maybe he'll dial it back when he hears the roar of crowd, quenching his lust for glory. They will if he takes to a championship.

13bit said...

Casholo has already decided. If Clint got another shot and if he played like Gehrig+Dimaggio and if his fielding became grade-A caliber, maybe he could play his way onto the team, but we have all see Cashman, that open-minded soul with the lofty, forgiving spirit, do this to other players. When he writes you off mentally, you're done. Another way to explain it: if a crackhead gets it into his head that he can pawn his TV for a few vials of crack, nothing will ever dissuade him. No matter how much he puts it off, that idea has burned a hole in his little, smoking skull and, one day, he will pull the trigger. Shit-ass pitchers with dead arms are Cashman's crack.

Fuck you, Hal.

Anonymous said...

Doug K., regular inside the Yankee clubhouse, knows for sure that his teammates don't like him. Vague reports to this effect came from idiot, peevish SPORTSWRITERS like Ken Davidoff who don't like Frazier--not a trustworthy source. And so what? You think all teammates are in love with one another? Nice myth. Read "Ball Four."

JM said...

In the advertising business, as only one example, you can be a brilliant writer or art director or account manager, but if you make other team members "uncomfortable" and you're perceived as being "negative" or "critical," you likely get fired. The corporate thinking these days is that it's better to have someone likeable and pretty good than someone who may be disruptive but is great.

This is where we are today. So if the rumors are true, the most corporate of teams might consider it important.

We don't know if they are, for sure. But it does make some sense out of the situation. We just don't know at this point.

Anonymous said...

Actually, while I'm not in the clubhouse, I can see the way his teammates react to him when they show the shot of the dugout after a big hit or home run. The little dances and other celebratory team stuff is either non or barely existent in comparison to the reactions for the other players on the team.

I know that teammates don't and don't have to get along. I never made that statement. You're setting up a straw man. Petitio principii. Also, the Bronx Zoo would have been a better choice.

Go ahead. Start insulting me. I'm done replying.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

A baseball clubhouse does not function like a corporate "team." See the 1977 Yankees and 1972-3 Oakland A's.

BillyMartinsHangover said...

Ah yes, the anonymous genius who is the asshole at the center of his very own universe.

Anonymous said...

BillyMartinsAsshole -- What happened to your other sock puppets? Are they on the DL? How was your brunch of your own shit? Ketchup of mustard?

Anonymous said...

Doug K. -- you're the one who insults the entire blog with your fatuous, trite posts.

Anonymous said...

Hey statboy, your whore mother really must have hated you.

JM said...

Baseball in the 70s was not what it is now. Did managers get hired based on how well they acted? Were they bland "good guys" who could get along with players? Did players make so much money that they were handled with kid gloves?

The atmosphere today is so different, the dynamic among players and between players and managers and team management is so different, and the culture as it's developed over the past few generations is so different, it's like saying Ty Cobb, noted racist and asshole, would be accepted and succeed today as he was 100 years ago.

In practical terms, those old enough to remember know that teams don't have to sing Kubaya together and say nice things about each other, and that individuals can be combative and surly. But those days are gone. That's not tolerated today, and was already going out of style 20 years ago.

It ain't the same game as it once was in a lot of ways. It's much more polite and...nice. Even fans are sick of onfield brawls and similar bullshit. Like I said before, it's not just baseball, it's business in general.

JM said...

Kumbaya

JM said...

Btw, Hicks is on the IL.

In the 70s, that was "insensitively" called the DL.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Well, it is official: Hicks on the 10-day DL. It is a shame—though not a surprise. He is, it seems, yet another Yankee star who cannot stay on the field.

As for The Red Menace, Coops' schemes, as usual, make no sense. If he IS planning to get rid of Frazier—which he may well be—why should he care about "years of control"? Why not just get him up as soon as possible and show him off?

But yes, what a difference a week makes! And aggravating as all the injuries are, maybe at least Coops will take this as an object lesson for the future.

No need for a Shane Robinson this year. Should The General tweak that gonad again, or should Sir Didi's finger bother him again, we have Thairo as another backup.

We are—FINALLY!—using our depth and seeing what we really have amongst our youth.

Chthulu works in mysterious ways.

Anonymous said...

Sock Puppet Psycho -- I love having a little Flaming Slave, who twitches to my every move. But it also makes me feel sorry for you. I'm really a compassionate soul--even for a subhuman, tormented worm like you. Tell me--when you eat your own shit, do you prefer it sauteed or braised?

Anonymous said...

Clint Frazier is not in the Scranton lineup tonight. If it means something--and there doesn't appear to be any good reason not to play him--my guess is that he will be called up for the start of the Baltimore series tomorrow. The Yankees would probably prefer not to re-insert him into the pressure cooker of another nationally televised home game against the Red So--the precise scene of his debacle in right field back when.

Puckered's sample size said...

I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™


All Stat Boy!®™ rights officially licensed through TWW Enterprises, LLC. Distributed through FYH Productions, LLC

Anonymous said...



If he plays great the rest of the way and becomes the player we hope he will be and they keep him then they got a great player.

And, if they still want to trade him at the end of the year his trade value goes up.

It's a win/win.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Doug K. -- Clint Frazier is not in the Scranton lineup tonight. If it means something--and there doesn't appear to be any good reason not to play him--my guess is that he will be called up for the start of the Baltimore series tomorrow. The Yankees would probably prefer not to re-insert him into the pressure cooker of another nationally televised home game against the Red So--the precise scene of his debacle in right field back when.

Fuck you Stat-Boy said...

I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™


All Stat Boy!®™ rights officially licensed through TWW Enterprises, LLC. Distributed through FYH Productions, LLC

ranger_lp said...

Looks like we're taking the foot off the petal or the throat...DJ is being rested and Romine gets rested after a night game. This might be an "L" for us.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stat Douche, showing up next week or are you a coward keyboard warrior?

Rhetorical question that everyone already knows the answer to.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Well so much for this fantasy...

https://nypost.com/2019/08/04/yankees-deliver-blunt-response-to-clint-frazier-callup-talk/

Gingers never catch a break.

Anonymous said...

That response from Boone was given yesterday, right after the second game of the doubleheader, before the result of Hicks's MRI was known, and before he had had a chance to meet with Cashman. So I don't take that response as definitive. If he's not in Baltimore tomorrow night, then that will be definitive.

Puckered's sample size said...

I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™


All Stat Boy!®™ rights officially licensed through TWW Enterprises, LLC. Distributed through FYH Productions, LLC