Wednesday, August 7, 2019

The Yankees have a secret formula for finding hitters... but it doesn't work for pitching

Last night - in the middle of a game that was never a game - the Death Star-owned courtiers of YES saluted the team's front office with a graphic of the studly no-names that the team magically picked from the scrap heap. 

Along with the now legendary Mike Tauchman, the list included Gio Urshela, Luke Voit, Cameron Maybin and - thinking ahead - Breyvic Valera. When given an opportunity, each took an Uber out of Palookaville to save his endangered MLB career. No matter what happens, each will forever be able to earn Pabst money by sitting in an airport Ramada and signing glossies. This year, they earned pinstripes, forever.

Actually, the house graphic could have included the Orioles best position player this year - Hanser Alberto, who is hitting .316 with 6 HR. Amazingly, the Yankees held him briefly last winter, before jettisoning him in a roster crunch. It's simply worth noting that, back in December, somebody in the Yankee brain pool flagged Alberto's name. They knew... 

Like those radar plans that fly over the Yucatan and spot ancient Mayan cities obscured by the jungle, the Yankees have somehow managed to identify emerging talent that other teams don't see. (I'm betting that Baltimore signed Alberto based on the fact that the Yankees were interested in him.) For that, Brian Cashman's front office truly deserves credit. What a year for waiver pickups.  

Unfortunately, this superpower does not extend to pitching, which may be the front office's downfall. 

If you look at the scrap heap pitchers signed by the Yankees in recent years, there is no equivalent to Tauchman/Urshela/Voit/Maybin. 

First, let's ponder Jonathan Loaisiga - Johnny Lasanga - whom the Yankees picked up three years ago and have constantly touted. He's still only 24 and may yet arrive. Thus far, though, injuries continually crush him, and he is starting to look like one of those little guys who throws too hard for his own good. He's now rehabbing, but recently failed to get out of the first inning in a minor league start. It sure would be nice if he made it. And it sure would be a surprise.

Then there is the 31-year-old lefty, Rex Brothers. He's been mired in Scranton. Doesn't look good. Last spring, there was the comeback attempt of Danny Farquhar, now retired. The Yankees briefly tried 33-year-old Gio Gonzalez, then let him go. Bad idea? Maybe. He's 2-1 with the Brewers, an ERA of 3.68. There was 28-year-old Drew Hutchinson. Nope. 

They did find the journeyman David Hale, and certainly Domingo German has emerged. But last winter, the Yankees did what they've always done for pitching: Sign aging walruses to short deals and trade for a "power arm" who who has injury issues. Both JA Happ and James Paxton have underwhelmed. (Let's not count CC; he's a legacy signing.) 

And there are the ones that got away. Caleb Smith - whom we traded to the Marlins for the now injured Mike King - has become one of Miami's best starters. He is 7-5 with an ERA of 3.35. You could argue that if the Yankees kept Smith and Gonzalez, they'd be better off. But I'm inclined to cut the team some slack. Nobody in baseball can figure out pitching. Look at the Redsocks - with Sale, Price and Porcello - who knew?

My guess: Somewhere with the Yankee tower of darkness, there is an old scout or an analytics dweeb still muttering about the owner's refusal to ante up for Dallas Keuchel. He's the free agent pitcher that miserable Hal Steinbrenner scorned in favor of a few thin dimes. Keuchel has now started 9 games with Atlanta - and in four, including his most recent, he's pitched into the seventh. But when given the chance to improve his team, Food Stamps Hal sat on his bejeweled silken purse. 

If the Yankees, for all their recycling magic, botch the 2019 World Series, all the magic will fade. But know this: It will be Hal, not the front office, who gets a frosty winter full of IT IS HIGH blogger spittle. 

76 comments:

JM said...

I can't help thinking that this is somehow a failure of analytics. Either pitching is a voodoo artform that is immune to statistical analysis, or the geniuses have not figured out what the truly meaningful metrics are. What they're tracking isn't working, at the least, not working consistently. Proof, I guess, that nothing is perfect. What we might need is an ideal pitch delivery model for each type of pitch, or maybe even for each type as delivered by individual pitchers, a true number crunching nightmare. The ability of a pitcher to consistently deliver like the visual model--and how much he deviates from it--might hold the information really needed to assess value.

In other words, more than analysis of results like speed, location, and such, there has to be an analysis of how optimal results are achieved. As far as I know, batting stats are results-only: velocity of a batted ball, trajectory and lift, walk rate, etc. There's nothing about stance, swing, weight of the bat, and the overall form of the batter that gets those results. Whether or not a guy has a "sweet swing" is immaterial to the analysis. Pitching might have a lot more to do with that aspect, and that's analyzed through video comparison of release point, arm slot, and whatever. That's good, but it obviously doesn't go deep enough analytically to predict performance with the same precision as batting. They need new numbers for that, maybe.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The keys to fixing the rotation are finding Paxton the correct psychiatrist, and miracle cures for at least one of the guys on the 60 day DL.

Otherwise, no hope in sight. The promising guys in the minors are all stinking it up in one way or another.

On the bright side, how many teams have really good pitching that isn't prone to the injury bug? Houston maybe, but not as deep as it used to be and psycho bullpen.

13bit said...

Just ask batters around the league who the best pitchers are and you'll get some pretty accurate answers.

Anonymous said...

WATCHING LAST NIGHT'S GAME, I HEARD SOME EYE OPENING INFORMATION.

MIKE TAUCHMAN IN A PRE-GAME INTERVIEW, GAVE MOST OF THE CREDIT TO HIS HITTING COACHES.

CAMERON MAYBIN RECENTLY SAID SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT A FEW WEEKS AGO.

URSHELA'S THRIVING....

WHO KNEW?

WHICH LEADS ME TO THIS....

WHY ARE THE "LINE DRIVE" TYPE HITTERS, THRIVING UNDER THESE HITTING COACHES, BUT OUR "HOME RUN" HITTERS, NEVER DO?


STANTON...BIRD...SANCHEZ...HICKS....EVEN JUDGE....(NONE OF THEM SEEM TO GET BETTER AS HITTERS, ONLY WORSE).

IT'S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

ON TO ANOTHER PROBLEM.

THE METS.

MET FANS HAVE GONE, COMPLETELY OFF THE RESERVATION.

THEY ARE SO STARVED FOR ACTION, AND SO BLINDED RIGHT NOW, THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY SAYING THE METS ARE "GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!"

THE INSANITY IS SO PROFOUND AND WIDE-SPREAD, THAT THEY ARE STARTING TO MAKE ME BELIEVE IT.

IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT THEY HAVE BEEN PLAYING SHIT TEAMS FOR 2 WEEKS STRAIGHT.

EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH NICER WHEN THEY ARE OUT OF THE PICTURE.

.....AND MY MIND KEEPS GOING BACK TO COOP NOT BRINGING BACK ANY PITCHING BEFORE THE DEADLINE.

CLOUDED DAYS.....

ALL AROUND, THIS SEASON IS HARD TO READ.

JM said...

Guys who are big stars and "possibly the best hitter on the Yankees" don't have to listen to coaches if they don't want to, I guess. Judge seems to have taken some kind of advice to heart, but still is susceptible to that low and outside slider. Not as much as he use to be, though.

The rest of them...if they never come back, I'd live. Don't wish them anything bad, but I'd live.

Just when I was starting to warm up to Hicks, too.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Hicks is a fine piece if he stays on the field. He should not bat fourth though.

Though experiment: What would be the best lineup if everyone was available -- including everyone on the EL?

My guess is a lot of salary would be jettisoned.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"Thought" experiment...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love the Mayan cities analogy, Duque!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And interesting thoughts by everyone.

In the last 25-30 or so, JM, teams that make it to the Series usually—though not always—have a veteran starting staff, guys who have got through their young, injury years.

The Yankees' Greatest Team Ever had Pettitte—but also Cone, Wells, Duque, and later Clemens. Snakes had Johnson and Schilling; Sox, Martinez and Schilling, etc. Houston had mostly younger pitchers, but needed Verlander.

Yanks refuse to learn this, or don't want to spend the money.

HoraceClarke66 said...

That is interesting, ALL-CAPS—though in fairness, we don't know if the big boppers would listen to Marcus Thames IF THEY WERE EVER IN THE DAMNED LINEUP.

It IS a hard season to call. I wouldn't worry too much about the Mets, though you never know. It's true they're playing mostly mutts of late, but that can build confidence. I know they lost Cano, but even though he was hot, that's additions by subtraction. Their starting staff seems to be rounding into shape, and if they DO make the playoffs they could be tough.

But they still don't have a bullpen to speak of, and they make a lot of mistakes. It's hard to see them getting past LA.

ranger_lp said...

@Rufus...apparently, it's more than a head issue...

Great article from the Times about Tanaka's splitter:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/05/sports/baseball/yankees-masahiro-tanaka-splitter.html

Call out in the article to #LarryManBoobs and #FYL.

Anonymous said...

Hey JM--that's all ignorant babble. Look up FIP.

Anonymous said...

Clint is a "defensive highlight reel" in Scranton:

https://nypost.com/2019/08/06/clint-frazier-makes-defensive-plays-yankees-are-looking-for/

Fuck you Stat-Boy said...

I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™

I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™


All Stat Boy!®™ rights officially licensed through TWW Enterprises, LLC. Distributed through FYH Productions, LLC

TheWinWarblist said...

I love the food at the Pizza Pit. It's like a college campus ...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

It's like a grade school...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Hey Stat Douche,

I just looked up "FIP" and it has nothing to do with baseball:

https://www.vet.cornell.edu/departments-centers-and-institutes/cornell-feline-health-center/health-information/feline-health-topics/feline-infectious-peritonitis

See you and your mom on Monday. Don't forget to bring your glove! I hear you're a 'catcher'!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, Clint was rockin' last night down in Dunder land. Homer, double, great catch, great throw. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM THE MAN???

Bring him up. Put Judge on the EL, where he belongs. Bring Thairo up (still have about 10,000 of those Pharaoh headdresses in the warehouse). Put The Gleyber on the EL.

Rest them. Pray. Try to play .500 ball for the rest of the month. Bring them back, along with everybody else. Repeat pray.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Mets won again today—13 out of 14. Maybe we SHOULD start to worry. Still, Miami is a wretched team. Old friend Garrett Cooper is having a decent season for them, though. (Starlin is not).

Meanwhile, Toronto did us a solid by spearing the Rays, 4-3. Tampa Bay came within one, extra-inning run of getting swept. Ken Giles, who was a relief target of ours, was roughed up in the ninth, but survived.

Tampa is now 10 back in the AILC. Boston? 17. And nearly half that margin came in the last week.

As a great man once said...

Anonymous said...

Basic sabremetrics for idiots:

http://m.mlb.com/glossary/advanced-stats/fielding-independent-pitching

Anonymous said...

I love the food at Warplist's favorite tranny bar, The Manhole. Don't even ask what's in that salad dressing, though.

Anonymous said...

For the assembled baboons who think it's clever and hilarious to ridicule the working poor in general and restaurant workers in particular:

"Restaurant workers stay hungry as the food industry feasts on profit
About third of restaurant workers are 'food insecure', a new report finds, and many struggle even to make enough to eat

Living on $2.13 an hour and tips
Food stamps: why recipients are haunted by stigmas
Restaurants to foodies: what about the people?"

https://www.theguardian.com/money/us-money-blog/2014/jul/25/restaurant-food-workers-afford-eat-employees-hungry

HoraceClarke66 said...

What we need, badly, from Paxton tonight—assuming we're able to play—is no nonsense. Just get out there, get outs, give us at least six strong innings.

None of the usual, weird, psychological crap we saw up in Boston, where when no one could hit his splitter he decided to keep pumping in straight fastballs.

Just give us your best, so we can bludgeon the Birds without having to worry about blowing out the pen, or exhausting everybody before we head up to Toronto.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I come here to escape reality, not to focus on it. I know people are suffering all over this country -- and in the world. I just read a bunch of stuff about the water supply in other countries. One factoid: 49% of the health care facilities in subSaharan Africa do not have a clean water supply.

Yes, that number covers the places people go when they are sick.

I can't say I don't care. But I don't come here to read about the less fortunate.

I'm sorry that I'm so fecking shallow.

---

To get to a baseball matter:

1. Gleyber reportedly has "core" issues.

2. Judge had "core" issues, and seems to still have some kind of issue. Did his "core" issue not go away with days and days of rest?

3. Luke is said to have a "core" issue, after a swinging 3rd strike in Tuesday's game.

I'm an old guy, and I can injure almost any part of me (upon request) with or without exercise. However, I do a reasonable amount of stretching. I know stretching is controversial to some exercise "experts".....but I'm me, not them. It seems to help.

What about these 3 guys, some of our stars? Isn't a core issue avoidable? Doesn't it seem like something an athlete (forget Smoky Burgess for now) should be able to avoid, with help from the training staff.

To which I add.....

4. Sanchez in 2019 has had a calf strain (missed 11 games) and "on July 23 he strained his left groin" . . . am I nuts, or do both of these things seem eminently avoidable with a bit of preventative somethingorother???

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stat Douche,

What, you don't CARE about the poor kitties?

I would think you would, being such a pussy yourself.

Trigger warning! Paging mommy's skirt! Safe space! Pussy needs a safe space!

13bit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

13shit -- Racist? Homophobe? Sorry--you don't have evidence for either of those smears, you piece of shit. It happens to be a fact that Warplist is an emotionally tormented, sexually confused beast who thinks it's just TOO CLEVERL to type "Fuck you, Hal" sixty times a day on a blog like someone with Asperger's syndrome--yet we're supposed to believe that he/she/it is a successful physician. Sure welcome to fantasy island. When this miscreant dishes it out, he/she/it gets it right back. Same for you--understood asshole?

And you're so dense that you don't understand that the working poor and restaurant workers are not a "demographic group"--a characterization that would occur only to a brain-dead cipher whose mind is marinated in marketing tropes. The working poor is an OPPRESSED CLASS, and you and your fellow groupthink jackals think it's just too hilarious to ridicule the vulnerable and the suffering. Go burn in hell, jackass.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

The Guardian... lol.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stat Douche a homophobe? Maybe just self hatred from not coming to grips (sic) with his own psyche. Or he could just be a racist, homophobic asshole. A guy that doesn't now what a demographic is and whines about restaurant servers, but probably tips like HAL spends his money -- sparingly.

Stat Douche, you gonna make it on Monday to verify for yourself that Winnie exists? You better bring champagne and caviar if you want the hands on verification, but I doubt that would even be enough for her to let you near her with her turning Kevorkian on you.

Trigger warning! Paging mommy's skirt! Safe space! Pussy needs a safe space!

13bit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TheWinWarblist said...

Has anyone noticed that Gardy is putting together a decent offensive year so far?

For the record, I don't live in a shithole where restaurant workers get paid starvation wages; also, I never tip less than 20-25%.

And if I ever hear you call anyone a "tranny" in person, I'll shove your fucking teeth down your throat.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you, Warplist Tranny! I'd worry more about your own teeth, you know--make sure you don't break the flesh when you're sucking dick in the back of The Manhole.

Moreover, you callous suburban Babbitt, ALL restaurant and food-service workers struggle to make a decent living, including many in the better restaurants.

I'm deeply impressed by your Trumpian figures of speech, such as referring to poor communities as "shitholes." You're a contemptible piece of shit, like your illiterate tag-team partner Dufus T. Caliban.

FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL

SHEER GENIUS! Go crawl back in your hole, you tormented fraud.

Anonymous said...

Tell you what, Warplist--if I ever see you in person sneering at the working poor and calling poor communities "shitholes"--just like Trump--I'll shove YOUR teeth down YOUR throat, you vile creep. That will make your tranny pals SO MUCH HAPPIER when you suck them dry.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Ooooooooh. Threats from a keyboard warrior that is too much of a pussy to show up next week. And threatening a woman. Such an open minded pussy douche.

Yet you refuse to actually meet anyone in person, despite multiple offers.

You're just a infantile little pussy twerp. Doubt you've ever even set foot inside the Stadium -- I, II or III.

Trigger warning! Paging mommy's skirt! Safe space! Pussy needs a safe space!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Gettin' Higgy with it!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

A most happy fella!

The intervention continues...

JM said...

Do FIP has nothing to do with what I was saying up top. Naturally.

Does MLB At Bat work in Yurp? I'm at an airport bar on the way over there.

JM said...

So FIP

TheWinWarblist said...

I think Didi's arm has recovered from surgery.


Fuck you Hal.

JM said...

If the O's think this guy can pitch, maybe I should call them. They can build a p.r. campaign about the old guy who never played organized ball, and I'll come in, throw wild pitches, get a few in the strike zone at 40 mph...folly floaters...and bewilder big shot hitters.

Just a month or two would clear up some bills.

TheWinWarblist said...

Who had 11 runs on the over/under?

TheWinWarblist said...

Suzyn: "The Red Sox are 1 and 9 over their last ten."
The Master: "Ooh."



FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL FUCK YOU HAL

JM said...

Ooh.

JM said...

Paxton's performance tonight makes Tanaka's look that much worse.

Anonymous said...

JM--you're just dumb as a brick. FIP addresses all your points above. I mean stupidity of this magnitude is really a marvel.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stat Douche, Didn't you're mommy let you have the day off to go to the game?

Or did her pimp not let her have the day off?

Trigger warning! Paging mommy's skirt! Safe space! Pussy needs a safe space!

Anonymous said...

Hey Dufus Moron--you fling the epithet "homophobe," but you're too fucking stupid to realize that your own use of the epithet "pussy" makes you both a misogynist and a homophobe at once!

More fun with Dufus T. Caliban!

Should I take apart all the fourth-grade mechanical and grammatical errors in your posts, too, or would that be too sadistic?

Anonymous said...

Warplist is a guy posing as a woman--or vice versa.

Hey, Warplist--let's hear more of your phony, paper-thin moral indignation while you tool around in your carbon deathmobiles while the planet burns.

Fuck you, you ethically debased piece of shit.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stat Douche,

Funny you should mention your grade at St. Euthenasia's. Are you getting extra credit for getting their name mentioned here?

Are you actually watching the game? I mean, you never actually comment on an actual game, except for your closet lover's in Scranton.

Does your mommy actually let you watch TV? Or are you confined to your CRT monitor to get Yankee news?

Asking for a friend...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

So many hurtful statements from the red sockian fan whose team is floundering.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


Oh, and Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Dufus T. Firefly--only Trump-loving frat-boy morons call other people "pussies."

You're subhuman.

TheWinWarblist said...

Well done Rufus!

Tehehee!

Anonymous said...

"Threats from a keyboard warrior that is too much of a pussy to show up next week. And threatening a woman. Such an open minded pussy douche.

Yet you refuse to actually meet anyone in person, despite multiple offers.

You're just a infantile little pussy twerp. Doubt you've ever even set foot inside the Stadium -- I, II or III."

Hey "pussy"-monger Dufus--are your imbecilic, second-grade comments here ghostwritten by the same guy who writes Trump's tweets?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, hell! Just checked in—is The General hurt??? Why'd he leave the game?

Anonymous said...

"Tehehee" writes Warplist, the callous piece of shit who took the Hippocratic Oath--so he/she/it claims--to first do no harm, and glides around in carbon-spewing deathmoblies that are helping to push the human race inot mass extinction in the next hundred years. Nice job, you piece of shit.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Winnie,

We can discuss next Monday. I'll bring the zip ties if you bring the ether.

And to clarify, I do like most pussies, of many varieties -- just not the fat pussy troll variety.

Hoss,

I'd guess the General is out because he actually needs rest, unlike whatever hot hitter Ma decides to sit ususally.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And Gleyber is still off the EL, so I guess The Miracle of the Gleyber—not to be confused with the Miracle of the Marne—is still on.

Boston blew an early lead and is now tied with KC. Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee.

Sorry, can't help myself.

TheWinWarblist said...

On lookie! KC has tied it up in Boston.


Va te faire foutre Hal.

JM said...

12-1, rest him.

JM said...

Higgy 2, O's 1.

HoraceClarke66 said...

14-1 now. Time for Holder? Or too soon?

TheWinWarblist said...

I never took the Hippocratic oath. We don't use that anymore. I do try to live up to the spirit of my medical oath.

I'm also carbon negative.

And was once a stunning piece of ass.

And oh yes, Higashioka the homerun stroker!



Foda-se Hal!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Individual Yankees players have had 11 multi-home run games against the Orioles this year—a major-league record.

10 of them have come in Camden Yards.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

14-1

yowzah!

JM said...

Winnie, we were all beautiful once, weren't we?

Not Stat Boy, but the rest of us.

And lest you not think so, older babes can be...well, babes.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, Paxton delivered just what we needed tonight.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"I'm also carbon negative."

Winnie, I have 70 acres in VT. I can burn my diesel loader backhhoe all day along with both my mercedes (ok, one is the missus's) AND my V-8 4WD pickemup truck and STILL eat more CO2 than any pizza douche can by holding in his farts.

Oh, and I plowed over a bunch of trees today. Making a road and recycling at the same time.

I didn't tip at the local restaurant because I ate at home (with yummy Moses corn), but when I do it's usually a fuck of a lot more than 25%.

PS., the original 'most interesting man in the world' is not too far from here.

The pig in me must ask (I must, I must!):

"And was once a stunning piece of ass."

Do you have the negatives?

JM said...

She didn't say naked pictures, Rufus. Steady, fella.

Oh, by the way, THUUUUUUUUUUUUUH Yankees win!!!

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I think I’ve figured out who Anonymous is. He’s the Orioles.

JM said...

Lol

ESPN captioned a video, "Urshela is a most happy fella".

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM: Sorry, I was just on a roll because the DSL feed didn't crap out tonight.

Beau: That may be true, but I think even the Orioles have some redeeming qualities...

Mike Fan Cessa said...

There's something about an 81-year-old man saying Kyle's getting Higgy with it that is unbeatably cool.


FYLT! (A bit of commiseration with Winnie there, just for the hell of it.)

HoraceClarke66 said...

This should be ONE interesting get together!

Yanks have won 15 straight in Baltimore, tied for the second most in a visiting park in major-league history.

They became the second team in history to hit 5 or more homers in 3 straight games. The first was Boston, of course, in the notorious, Reggie-Billy, 1977 series. (Hmm, does this mean the Orioles will win the World Series? They did have a fight in their dugout, too.)

Leinstery said...

While listening to the game I noticed Suzyn talking about how Paxton has found his groove by throwing his curveball more often. She said how that's what he used to do in Seattle. Now this reminds me of what Sonny Gray said earlier in the year, how the Yankees (Rothschild) discouraged his curveball and cutter and preferred a fastball-slider. Sonny hasn't been a dumpster fire in Cincy and Paxton doesn't shit the bed when he pitches the way he's comfortable pitching. It's almost like trying to undo a lifetime's worth of work in a few months can have adverse effects on pitchers and when those pitchers are allowed to do what got them to where they are good things happen.

ranger_lp said...

@Leinstery...agreed. #FYL #LarryManBoobs.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Interesting, Leinstery. But I still wonder if it's that knee of his barking again. Anyway, if the Beatdown in Beantown convinced even BoJo to change his ways, it will have been worth it.