Friday, August 28, 2020

Heading into the Subway Series and the halfway mark, the Yankee Death Star is attracting hope and despair


 1. Finally, the Yankees this week added a LH catcher: 31-year-old Rob Brantly, a lifetime .220 hitter, who can kick-save wild pitches and maybe give us a fighting chance against the RH bullpen specialists who own Gary Sanchez's soul. Best part of the deal: SF accepted cash. Platoon, anyone?

2. Maybe Brantly should hook up with Eric Kratz, our current backup, who is 4 for 11 on the season. Kratz has more doubles (2) than Sanchez, who has - drum roll, please - one... (the loneliest number that you ever know.) Gary is hitting .139 in 72 at-bats. He leads the team with 34 strikeouts, nine more than Luke Voit, who is second. Fun Fact: Gary also leads the team in Hit By Pitches, with three. (He not only can't catch wild pitches, he can't dodge them, either.) 

3. Aaron Judge's apparent re-injury is by far the most distressing Yankee event thus far in 2020. (Until this, the first was the notion that Trump was going to throw out a ceremonial pitch.) Judge has gotten off to a great start. This was going to be his year, the season he cemented his legacy as the face of the Yankees. Instead, he now looks like Giancarlo II - a career "what-if...?" If this sounds harsh and unfeeling, well, I don't know how else to put it: The guy did interviews last week, saying he was ready and raring to go, that he didn't need to be on the IL. Then he returns for five innings and pulls up lame. 

4. The last five losses exposed glaring weaknesses - most notably our LACK of depth (formerly the team's great strength.) Last year's "Next Man Up" elevation of Urshela, Tauchman, Maybin and Voit now looks like a lucky, one-shot deal. This year, neither Wade (.185) nor Estrada (.222) nor Ford (.163) have stepped up. The bottom of the lineup is Death Valley, and every day, Cashman patrols the scrap heaps for still-pulsing cadavers.

5. Almost every MLB trade rumor in captivity has Miguel Andujar going somewhere, usually for a rag-armed bullpen inner tube. Miggy's two hits Wednesday raised his average to - gulp - .160. Two years ago, when he chased DiMaggio, who could have expected his stock to now be so low, so horrible? In this fractured market, we might receive pork and beans. His Yankeeography is a slow-motion disaster. 

6. When Aaron Boone mentions Michael King as a viable starting option this weekend, from where is he getting his information? The CDC? The FDA? Infowars? King's ERA is 6.59 - worse than JA Happ. In 13 innings pitched, he's given up 10 runs. If the Yankees blow this series, they could find themselves being tailgated by Toronto, trapped in a hole from which they cannot emerge. And they're turning to King? This is bad. This is real bad.

7. On the pitching staff, our most pleasant surprise - maybe the only one - is Jonathan Loaisiga. His ERA - 2.77 - is only behind Mean Chad Green, and the absent Zack Britton and Tommy Kahnle. But but but... in his second time around the order, Johnny Lasagna seems to lose a tick. He looks more like a closer than the starter we desperately need. Over his career, he's also been extremely fragile. How many innings should we pile on him? We might soon get an answer, and it won't be a pleasant surprise.

8. In comments to the Gammonites, Boone keeps ignoring Clarke Schmidt and Deivi Garcia as starter options for this weekend. The only conclusion? Neither must be pitching well at the alt-site in Scranton, or is something else in play? Are the Yankees protecting them in anticipation of a trade? (God help us.) Or, I wonder if hamstrings have been popping in Moosic, as they are in NYC? If a gonad tweaks in the forest, does anybody yelp?

9. The canceled games in the aftermath of Kenosha remind us of how fragile this dark season remains. Any trade must take into account the very real chance that there will be no World Series, or that one infection could wipe out our post-season. Meanwhile, a large segment of the U.S. population is being told the pandemic is over, and that fans should return to the bleachers. (Considering the proposed Lysol cure, maybe some fans should be called "bleachers?") Wash your hands, everybody. We're barely halfway through the 2020 season. The rocky roads lie ahead, and I don't mean ice cream.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I can't wait to see this .220 lefty hitter catching phenom we just got for cash. Okay, so everything is starting to happen as most of us forsaw it: the injuries, the lousy pitching, problems with starting pitching, problems with relief pitching, problems with hitting, piss poor batting averages, the strikeouts, lack of clutch hitting, lack of any hitting. No way we should trade Andujar. This winter, we need to get rid of Cashman and then move some dead weight around and make room for guys like Frazier and Andujar to play every day. Getting another bullpen lugnut ain't going to make this team into a real contender this crazy year.

The Hammer of God

Anonymous said...

"Platoon, anyone?"

More like Apocalypse Now.

Doug K.

JM said...

Doug, another good zing.


This team is so sad, a euphoria pill would only bring them up to clinical depression.

This team is so sad, Horace Clarke figured it was better to die than see any more.

This team is so sad, even the Boone lookalike toymaker from "Blade Runner" is embarrassed to look like Boone.

This team is so sad, Gardy is thinking of throwing in the towel early and living off his royalties from that "Outer Limits" episode.

This team is so sad, Bill Monboquette turned down a comeback offer.

This team is so sad, John has completely forgotten how to warble.

This team is so sad, I'm pining for 1966, even though Johnny Keane is still dead.

This team is so sad, Cashman is getting reverse LASIK so he doesn't have to watch.

This team is so sad, the Mets are licking their chops about this weekend.

This team is so sad, the Orioles are laughing at us.

This team is so sad, fans wouldn't show up at the Stadium even if they could.

This team is so sad, Jesus Montero sent them a truckload of Good Humor.

Sad, sad, sad.

el duque said...

Bravo.

Anonymous said...

This team is so sad Hal could barely finish his gold sprinkled banana split.

This team is so sad that Mel Allen's signature phrase would have to change from "How about that?" to "How about we all just go home and die?"

Speaking of...

This team is so sad that Tanaka just made a sponsorship deal with the makers of seppuku mats.

This team is so sad that the joke:

Q: What do the New York Yankees and The American Veal Association have in common?

A: They both get ruined by bad calves.

Is not funny.

This team is so sad that Paul O'Neill has not left his basement in over a month.

And last but not least...

This team is so sad that the Yankees "Turning Point of The Game" is now sponsored by Prosac.

Doug K.



Alphonso said...

"Not for nuthin" ( as a secretary of mine used to say ) but:

1. I always said King was a mistake on the roster because he only has one pitch. And if it isn't perfectly, placed....this average fastball.... becomes a meatball.

2. I do continue to like Loaisiga. He just needs some confidence ( arrogance ). And he needs to hit some batters.

3. Clark Schmidt, if he ever gets a chance, will do really well and then Boone will send him back to the alternative hell.

4. The Devi Garcia guy is so over-rated I can only think of that catcher who ate ice cream sandwiches. Jesus something or other.....Everyone believes he is the next Pedro or Louisiana Lightening. Want to discuss an actual hoax???

5. We need players who can play baseball. People who don't strike out. Guys like Le Mahieu...not more fucking pitchers.

6. We can't score more than one run a game for ( pisswater's ) sake.

7. Let's deal Andujafr just as he seems to be getting his batting eye back.

8. Let's tank the season and fight Boston for the top draft pick. Then, let's use it on a guy who needs TJ surgery.

Anonymous said...

JM,

Forgot to mention it but liked the Montero one.

Doug K.

JM said...

Thanks, Doug.

By the way, Avilán has been let go. And it was only Roxy Music album that sold well in America becuase it was so MOR. Well crafted, but MOR.

Anonymous said...

When I think of Cashman and Boone my mind Conjures up Cris Columbus saying, "Are you sure that this isn't India, or maybe just China, cuz I mapped this whole thing out using analytics and launch angles and we used the most modern of strength and conditioning viceroys to ensure peak navigation ."

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