Monday, August 31, 2020

Mutiny In the Sunoco Broadcast Booth!

It had been weeks since I'd had the chance to get out for a run or to listen to The Master and Margarita, so I was glad to take the opportunity on this splendid Sunday in New York.

True, after so much time off, I felt like various parts of my body were terribly strained and cramped, and that I might have to go on the 10-day IL.  But then I rubbed some dirt into the boo-boos, and the pain disappeared.  I mean to recommend this revolutionary healing method to the Yanks' training staff.

And hey, what a game!  Before the Yankees' crazy rally, Michael Kay had called it "an absolute slog" (yes, I watched the YES replay, I said yes, I said yes I watched YES—for that seventh-inning rally, at least), while The Master said outright that it was "a pretty ugly game."

They both had a point.  If the soulless corporate entity that is MLB thinks it has used The Plague Year to develop a winner on the field, it has another think coming.  The game—which only lasted an out short of 8 full innings, went 3 hours and 22 minutes.

It featured 17 strikeouts, 11 walks,  3 wild pitches, 2 batters hit at crucial moments, and two entire teams that seemed to be sleep-walking through the proceedings.

The Mets made one official error, and really 4-5 awful plays in the field, all of which cost them (Can't we play the Mets everyday?  Please?).  The Yankees repeatedly tried their darnedest to run into outs.

The Yanks really won the game by rope-a-doping Rick Porcello, allowing 3 runs in a sixth inning so absolutely excruciating—walking four batters in the frame and hitting another—that the Mets decided to pull their starter after only five innings and 85 pitches, even though he had been dominating the Yankees.

This set off the inevitable train of events that finally led to Edwin "The Definition of Insanity" Diaz getting into the game, and at that point anything was possible.

But what most amazed me was the outright mutiny in the radio booth—utterly absent among the YESmen—as Suzy Q. and The Master called the sabermetricious out by name—"the metrics man"—and openly questioned both Ma Boone's decisions, and Brain Cashman's work in constructing this wondrous team.

To wit:

—How was it possible to have 15 pitchers on the roster and not 1 lefthanded reliever?

—Really, Luis Cessa could not be used unless they at least tied the game?  Cessa?

—Brooks Kriske?  Even as he walked the bases full in his third inning of walk?

—The Yankees had only 4 players on their bench?  But no loopy?

—Even with the contrived device of putting a runner on second to start each "extra inning"—in this case, the 8th—the Yanks would make NO effort to move him over to third?   No departure ever, at all, from swing for the fences on every pitch?

—No one is EVER going to hit around a shift?

And so it went.  Ah, it was glorious.  Most likely, it will cost them their jobs.  But it was so good to hear.

At least someone is saying that the emperor has no clothes.

At least someone recognizes that, thanks to the way the game is being taught it is often a long, slow bore of endless walks and strikeouts, and sloppy play by a generation of players unschooled in the fundamentals.















8 comments:

E R E said...

Funny. I had the same exact thought listening. Yikes!!! (But it was great.)

They were particularly brutal on Hicks and Sanchez. You love to see it.

Anonymous said...

Although I love our version of Ma and Pa Kettle, I can't listen to them because I have relocated. However, if they actually criticized the Yanks, I will come down from Mt. Olympus and declare their broadcasting sainthood, or at least an Emmy, or Ralphie or whatever the Oscar is for radio. There must be a Marconi Award or something.
My love/hate relationship does not allow me to give up a sunny day at the lake to watch a lineup in which 5 starters who had BAs under .200. I have reverted to my 10-year old self and only view box scores. I won't give a nickel to the Yanks as long as 'Metrics' Boone is allowed to play Yahtzee with our players and guys "cramp up" by playing 14 innings [Yes, I'm look at you 10 million dollar man Hick, who is a hero for swinging so hard that he cramps up during an at-bat , but is a hero simply because he ran into a high flat fastball from Diaz] when a guy like Roy White played 153+ games a year, some years in old cotton/flannel uni.
No tickies from me until Cashman is gone either. I know Cashman is a master GM, but he would have been of better use on my boat today cuz I'm told that he is a master baiter. [insert juvenile guffaw here.]

Anonymous said...

Indeed, it was great to hear them bashing metrics. What a joke.

All right hand hitting lineup? Check. All swinging for the fences? Check. All flame throwing bullpen? Check. Playoffs? Uh ... we may have a problem there.

It's not just metrics that is the problem. Isn't metrics all over baseball right now? It's the way the team is built and coached. I see teams like the Rays hit the other way, hit through holes in the shift, work the count, foul off tough pitches, have endless at-bats. But teams like the Rays obviously do it differently from us. Their version works, ours doesn't.

So it's on to Tampa now. Where we'll probably get swept again. If we're lucky, we might win one.

The Hammer of God

HoraceClarke66 said...

And stupidly, one I forgot: The Master told us that it was always good to have great hitters stacked up one after the other, because it wears down the pitcher.

WHAT??? You mean every baseball man for 150 years might be right, an Brain Cashman WRONG???

If this were Russia, Coops would have already poisoned Sterling's coffee.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But yeah, great points Anon and Hammer.

Leg cramps, because "he forgot to hydrate"? WTF? Should we hire a dugout nanny, to tell guys to drink enough water? They have a bloody barrel of Gatorade in the dugout, for cryin' out loud!

And yeah, the Yanks don't even do the metrics well.

It was fun watching Voit accidentally hit against the shift yesterday with that check-swing single. It was like that old ad where the woman throws the hammer into the video screen; the Mets folded up like they couldn't believe it. Imagine if we did such things intentionally!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And speaking of which...yet another Master criticism yesterday: when Conforto hit a key, two-run, opposite-field double for the Mets early on, The Master not only praised him but kept going on about how "He does this all the time. You'd think this would be in the scouting reports!"

To which Suzyn chimed in: "Scouting reports? You'd think they'd have it right in their cellphone!"

Love those two!

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