Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner says nothing about everything... until he hits the sorest subjects to Yankee fans

Yesterday, for the better part of 30 minutes, Hal Steinbrenner performed a spirited impersonation of a U.S. Supreme Court nominee. Grilled by his talk radio employee, Michael Kay, the man known on this site as "Food Stamps Hal" said - over and over, again and again - basically... zilch. 

The Yankee owner - who in the manner of Eric Trump, remains most known for simply being his father's son - danced and curtsied around nearly every puffball question that floated his way. Paraphrasing...

The need to resign DJ LeMahieu: It's important, and it needs to happen, if the money is right!

Next year's payroll: Always a big issue! We'll have to see how spending goes!

Letting fans into games next year:  Jeepers, we sure hope so! It'll depend on how the virus goes!

Avoiding injuries next year: All for it! 

Future of Gary Sanchez: We'll have to see! It sure will be interesting! 

Then came two matters that dislodged Hal from his verbal quagmire of innocence and vapidity. Quoting... 

Aaron Boone: "He has the respect of the players. Aaron Boone will be back next year. That's just a fact.''

Brian Cashman: "The people that work under him respect him, and Boone respects him, and it's been good. We're just going to have to keep plugging away.''

In other words, next year, nothing will change. The Yankees will use the same analytics to make decisions in the executive suite and the dugout. 

At this point, a favor: Let's avoid the knee-jerk rage that often erupts here when we discuss Boone and Cashmere. Frankly, neither is the worst at his craft, nor the worst we've endured as Yankee fans. In fact, if either were to be kicked upstairs or maintained as consultants, it wouldn't bother me. I wish them both happy lives. Neither has ever embarrassed the Yankees - (okay, with the exception of when Boone fanned with the winning run on third in the 2003 World Series, and there was that matter of Cashman's concubine blackmailer.) But in this age of tweet storms and toxic masculinity, I think both qualify as decent, honest, smart people. That's not nothing. 

But here's the deal: The Yankees are stagnating. They once had a reputation as the heroes of October. Now, they are known as the team runs up the score on weak opponents, and then strikes out  18 times against good pitching. We are the team known for failing in the playoffs.

Both men had a rotten 2020. Boone nearly mismanaged the Yankees into missing the playoffs altogether. The roller coaster ride came much too close to a complete debacle. And Cashman - who boasted early on about the depth in pitching - watched the staff fall apart. (For more than 20 years now, pitching has always been his weakness; the list of Yankee failures - from Kevin Brown to Sonny Gray - is terrifying.) 

It's impossible to know what would have happened over a normal season. A two-month year is nothing. I realize that it's difficult to judge players and management over such a short term. 

But other teams put the onus on results. Boston is now bringing in Billy Beane, as it brought in Chaim Bloom, as it brought in Dave Dombrowski, as it brought in Bill James, as it brought in Ben Cherington, as it brought in Theo Epstein... with each incarnation, new ideas, new blood, new ways. 

And in this millennium, they have four rings. I don't think Yankee fans want bad things to happen to their ownership or their leadership. But I do think they want change.

31 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Brian Cashman: Ok, here's what we do. I'll tell Hal I respect you and you tell Hal you respect me.

Aaron Boone: Do you think it will work?

Brian Cashman: Of course it will. If he thinks everyone on his team respects each other, he'll keep us all.

Hal Steinbrenner: Aaron Boone has the respect of the players. Aaron Boone will be back next year. That's just a fact. Brian Cashman has the respect of the people that work under him and Boone respects him, and it's been good.

Brian Cashman to Aaron Boone, via text message: Worked like a charm!

Aaron Boone to Brian Cashman, via text: LOL

ranger_lp said...

@LBJ...sounds accurate to me...LOL

Celerino Sanchez said...

I don't understand why Hal takes all the hits here. The only common denominator during this 20 year reign of mediocrity is Cashman. Who signed Jaret Wright, Ellsbury, Pavano, Kei Igawa, Jose Contreras, Pedro Feliciano (who never pitched a game) the list goes on. Who traded for Kevin Brown, The Big Unit, Sonny Gray, Jeff Weaver, Javier Vasquez, Sergio Mitre, Jaime Garcia, etc etc etc. Who traded Mike Lowell, Eric Milton, Christian Guzman, Mark Melancon & Ted Lilly, Cashmen has spent $2 billion over the last 10 years. I don't want to hear about Voight or Urshela, he lucked into those guys. How this guy still has a job is beyond me.

TheWinWarblist said...

"At this point, a favor: Let's avoid the knee-jerk rage ... "

Who the fuck are you and what did you dp with our blogger??






Roo-Roo you Hal!

Anonymous said...

Celerino makes an excellent point. "The only common denominator during this 20 year reign of mediocrity is Cashman."


Doug K.

TheWinWarblist said...

"I don't think Yankee fans want bad things to happen to their ownership or their leadership."

What the holy flaming fucking fuck, Duque!?! Are you well?? Blink twice if they're holding you prisoner!! Somebody call the FBI; I think we have a hostage situation!!






Hal, Cash, you other dickholes, I very much want bad horrible awful things to happen to you.

el duque said...

I am fine.

I am not under restraint. I am not being tortured.

My captors are good. Mr. Steinbrenner says I can receive solid food tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Here's Hal's favorite song...


R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Sorry Otis)

What you want?
Baby I got it.
What you need, do you know that I got it?


All I’m askin for, is a little respect,
and some players home grown.
(Just a little bit) Hey Boonie.
(Just a little bit) Don’t mind leads blown.
(Just a little bit) Hey Brian.
(Just a little bit)


I'm about to give you
a small amount of my money
And all I'm askin'
in return, honey.
Is to give me 30K, in the seats when you play at home.

(Just a, just a, just a, just a) Yeah, Brian.
(Just a, just a, just a, just a) When you play at home.
(Just a little bit) and YES!
(Just a little bit)

I’ll give you some, superstars,
But I don’t care if you get far.
Just make the wild card,
give me 30K in the seats when we’re home

(Just a, just a, just a, just a) Yeah, Boonie
(Just a, just a, just a, just a) When you play at home.
(Just a little bit) and YES!
(Just a little bit)

Ooh, our ratings
are sweeter than honey
between that and parking
we’re minting money

All I want you to do for me, is give it to me when you get home
(Re, re, re ,re) Yeah Brian
(Re, re, re ,re) WHIP it to me
(Respect, just a little bit) When you get home, now
(Just a little bit)


R-E-S-P-E-C-T, it spells mediocrity
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, you don’t need to win it all for me. Oh

(Give it to me, Give it to me, Give it to me, Give it to me)
A little respect.
(Make it for me, Make it for me, Make it for me, Make it for me)
Whoa, Brian.
(Just a little bit) A little respect
(Just a little bit) and you won’t get fired.
(Just a little bit) Or retired
(Just a little bit) our fans are fools
(Just a little bit) And I ain't lyin'
(Just a little bit)
(Re, re, re, re) fill the seats when we’re home.
(Re, re, re, respect) Walks are like hits.
(Just a little bit) Don’t adjust to shifts
(Just a little bit) And just make sure that I have
(Just a little bit) A little respect
(Just a little bit)

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Indeed, Doug K. Just when did the criteria for maintaining your job as big-league GM become the respect of your underlings? Are we really supposed to think that the people Cashman hired liking him is a big hurdle?

HoraceClarke66 said...

That said, sure: Aaron Boone is "a decent, honest, and smart person." Hell, the guy spends his off-season helping poor people in Haiti, and even adopted two of them. He's a modern-day saint—and various foibles aside, not the worst person who ever managed the New York Yankees.

Brian Cashman...less so. But no, he's not Eichmann. He's not even Lonn Trost or Randy Levine. And Celerino, while agreeing with all you say about his many failures, I am willing to give him his props for his successful dumpster dives.

And THAT said—you're right, Duque. Results should be the criteria here.

They were saying during that awful slog that was the ALCS game yesterday that it's now been 20 years since anyone repeated as champion of the baseball world—the longest such streak in the history of North American sports.

For whatever reason, Cashman can't get a team that is wholly his own to the top. He never has done it, and he never will. If winning it all is Hal's top priority, he should get himself another general manager.

If just keeping the team in (sort of) contention while it slowly declines, and heeding his every, changing whim about spending priorities is what Hal wants in a GM—as I suspect it is—he is right to keep the Brain right where he is.

Anonymous said...

And so endth any hope of any major changes this winter ... just like we all predicted. I believe that we'll have exactly the same players here next year, except for Tanaka, Paxton and Happ. I think the Brain won't be dumb enough to keep them around. He'll say Severino and German are coming back, so it's like we made a trade for those two guys! Gardner will be back to block Frazier. Stanton will be back to block Andujar.

On that note, see ya'll next year! I will be preparing to bunker down for 2020 election Armagedden and the second coming of the coronavirus this winter.

The Hammer of God

ranger_lp said...

Maybe el duque is being coerced into that response Winnie?

@el duque...Are you being tortured? Type two periods for yes and three periods for no...

Anonymous said...

Hammer,

But if you leave you will miss quality observational humor such as

Q: How many Yankee starters does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

A: According to the data no one uses light-bulbs anymore.

Doug K.

el duque said...

Doug K,

Wanna join us a poster?

Shoot me an email at

hseely@twcny.rr.com

DickAllen said...



"They were saying during that awful slog that was the ALCS game yesterday that it's now been 20 years since anyone repeated as champion of the baseball world—the longest such streak in the history of North American sports."



And that gives every Tom Dick and Harry the fantasy that "hey, maybe this could be my year" syndrome.

And that allows the cash register to keep bringing the suckers, uh, sorry, I meant "fans" back to fill their coffers. That hunk of metal be damned. It's all about the Cash, man.

"Money, it's a hit. Don't give me that do good good bullshit."

Alphonso said...

Look. We are likely never getting out of our apartments again.

So we are lucky to have any baseball to watch. Even the loser Yankees.

So what if nothing changes next year? Boring and predictable is good.

We may get to see a game with 27 Yankees striking out.

Lets just accept that the Yankees will be about 14 degrees worse next season. Tampa wil laugh at us. Toronto will smash us in the mouth. And Boston and Baltimore with both surprise us.

And we may be in the middle or at the bottom of the AL east. At lest until Giancarlo retires.

So what? Our cheers and agony are neither heard nor seen.

It will be nice not to see optimistic forecasts about the 2021 Yankee season.

Expecting mediocrity is not the definition of insanity.

Anonymous said...

duque--you seem to derogate "analytics" but then uphold as models Billy Beane and the Red Sox et al. who have pioneered the use of analytics in an effective and creative way. And therein lies the difference--Cashman belatedly hopped on the analytics bandwagon without the intellect to understand its potential or the leadership abilities to implement it effectively. He still over-relies, with traditional Steinbrennerian DNA, on crippling long-term glamour free-agent signings (Stanton, Cole) long after the analytics crowd abandoned this kind of folly, and he still sucks at player development: the few good young players he does find end up demoralized, ill-used, and crushed, either from indecision at the top about how to use them or poor coaching or both: Frazier, Andujar, Sanchez and Tyler Wade being among the current notable examples, with Estevan Florial sure to follow.

So the problem isn't the use of analytics--the problem is the inept and erratic and incompetent application of analytics by mediocrities and incompetents.

Anonymous said...

The problem is pompous little stat bitches.

HoraceClarke66 said...

YAY, Doug K.! Your elevation is well-deserved. Loved the lightbulb joke!

Anonymous said...

Yeah stat bitches like Billy Beane and Theo Epstein and Erik Neander. Neander, to enlighten the resident philistines and know-nothings who proudly gallumph around this blog, parading their stupidity and ignorance at every opporutnity, is the head of baseball operations of the Tampa Bay Rays, who merely humiliated your beloved Yankees in the ALDS and far outperformed them in the regular season with one-fifth the payroll. That kind of stat bitch--clear enough moron?

Anonymous said...

Wow... what a piece of work.

Anonymous said...

Yeah . . . a piece of work who knows that he's talking about rather than an emotionally damaged moron who knows nothing about baseball. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Woof, but man, your grammar sucks.

Anonymous said...

No grammatical mistakes--sorry. But you're a slavering imbecile who drools all over the blog with your psychopathic malice, raging against strangers on the Internet as your only satisfaction against the blows life has rained on you. Poor little stupid loser boy, flailing in the night! You parrot all the dumbass illiterate daily sportswriters who deride "stats"--and you don't even know the meaning of that word as you're using it--while all the Ivy League GMs of the most successful teams are steeped in the analytics that you're too stupid to comprehend. Another humiliation for you, dummy boy!

Anonymous said...

LMAO!

Anonymous said...

"Hunter Biden, mostly known as his father's son" which he used to gain literally millions of dollars from countries all over the world." There, changed your anti-Trump ding to be more topical.
Godot

Anonymous said...

Hoss,

Thanks man. Looking forward to it.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

"LMAO!" Glad to see that this blog is making headway among twelve-year-olds!

Anonymous said...

Why does an intellect such as yourself mingle with twelve year olds?

Isiyku Abdulahi said...


I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.

Nitish Kumar said...

LOTTO, lottery,jackpot.
Hello all my viewers, I am very happy for sharing this great testimonies,The best thing that has ever happened in my life is how I win the lottery euro million mega jackpot. I am a Woman who believe that one day I will win the lottery. finally my dreams came through when I email believelovespelltemple@gmail.com and tell him I need the lottery numbers. I have spend so much money on ticket just to make sure I win. But I never know that winning was so easy until the day I meant the spell caster online which so many people has talked about that he is very great in casting lottery spell, . so I decide to give it a try.I contacted this great Dr Believe and he did a spell and he gave me the winning lottery numbers. But believe me when the draws were out I was among winners. I win 30,000 million Dollar. Dr Believe truly you are the best, all thanks to you forever