From the mighty desk of HoraceClarke66 (whose computer hates Blogger)
Now that our maximum leader has declared that we should stop
worrying and learn to love the Covid, I am relieved to be able to resume
reporting all events from this scary alternate universe in their full, grisly
detail.
The Yankees were relieved to be back in New York and taking
another day off, after their desperate battle to once and for all put down the
2020 Tampa Bay Rays.
But even as the baseball world crackled and hummed with their
success, the stock market took a new nosedive following reports of the masked
ball held in Tampa to raise funds for the Trump campaign, during an earlier
off-day from the ALCS.
The event’s organizers had designed a gay and magnificent revel, a
masked ball of the most unusual magnificence—at least, for anything held in the
Tampa Dome. But at length there commenced the sounding of midnight, and many in
the crowd had become aware of the presence of a masked figure which had
arrested the attention of no single individual before.
There arose at length from the whole company a buzz, or murmur, of
horror, and of disgust. The figure was tall, and shrouded from head to foot in
the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the visage was made so
nearly to resemble the countenance of a stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny
must have difficult in detecting the cheat.
But the mummer had gone so far as to assume they type of the
pangolin plague reported now in a growing number of cities. His vesture was
dabbled in blood—and his broad brow was sprinkled with the scarlet horror.
One by one dropped the revelers, felled by fear, as this figure
proceeded, with stately step all around the circuit of the vast pleasure dome.
Until at last, some of them fearing that he must be a Democrat, a throng of the
revelers, summoning the wild courage of despair, sought to throw themselves
upon him—only to see him pull off his terrible mask at the final moment.
“Well who’d you think it was?” asked President Trump. “So do I win
first prize for costume? This is a very good costume. The best, believe
me. Hey, where’re those pangolin burgers? They’re delicious!”
Wall Street has yet to recover from the shock.
Posts
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