Thursday, October 1, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Cole Train Runs Through Tampa! Yanks Go Up On Rays! mets win.

From HoraceClarke66 


Gerrit Cole kicked off the 2020 virtual postseason in style, besting the usual TB bevy of relievers, 3-2, in an exciting opening game at Yankee Stadium III.

 

Cole frequently flirted with disaster, but also struck out 15 Rays, and home runs by Aaron Judge and Gleyber Torres kept the Yanks in the contest. But the winning run was manufactured in the bottom of the ninth inning, on back-to-back doubles by The Gold Dust Twins, Clint Frazier and Miguel “El Matador” Andujar.

 

Manager Ma Boone had tried to lift Cole in the top of the ninth, but the determined hurler was caught by the cameras vehemently shaking his head and dashing out to the mound before his manager could wave in Machine Gun Chapman from the bullpen.

 

“What, you think I’m going to pitch all that way just to let some big palooka like that blow my game?” Cole “joked” to reporters afterwards. 

Meanwhile, the New York Mets, beginning their “quest to keep the penis off our chest,” managed to stifle the Chicago Cubs behind Jacob deGrom, 3-0.  Robinson Cano and Dom Smith both homered to drive in all the runs necessary for the Pride of Flushing, and an inning of relief each by Chasen Shreve, Dellin Betances, and Justin Wilson—the Bronx Trio—sealed the deal.    

10 comments:

JM said...

It's arguable whether Sweatball is a palooka or a big lug, but otherwise....

13bit said...

JM, I agree. And one could construct a nuanced argument on that subject...

Anonymous said...

Enough already with these interminable masturbatory "fantasy" posts. duque--please pull the plug.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Haha, he said masturbatory. That’s the most masturbatory thing you can say! It was... almost Stantonian.

Anonymous said...

No--the most masturbatory thing you can say is "that's the most masturbatory thing you can say."

DickAllen said...



This all sounds oddly like a circle jerk.

13bit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ranger_lp said...

@Beauregard...insert Beavis and Butthead laugh after masturbatory....

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I will now use Stantonian as a synonym for Masturbatory... so when the Yanks are up by 10 runs and we finally get our Stantonian Blast... I’ll know John Sterling means that blast was for Stantons personal pleasure alone.

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