Monday, October 5, 2020

Virtual Baseball: YANKS ALIVE! New York Wins Epic, Extra-Inning Struggle to Fend Off Elimination at Hands (Weird Little Bat-like Claw Things Feed Filters) of Rays!

By HoraceClarke66

In a contest of virtual desperation akin only to the 2003 Game Seven of the ALCS, the New York Virtual Yankees fell behind early in their elimination match with the Tampa Bay Rays, came back to take the lead, blow that lead, take another lead, blow that one, too, then finally win it in the 16th inning of play, by a count of 12-11.

Throwing Johnny-whole-staff and other desperate clichés of baseball at Tampa, the Yanks started their promising young rookie, Deivi Garcia—only to see him driven from the mound by the 4th inning, trailing 4-0 on two-run homers by Ji-Man Choi and Mike Brousseau, who turned somersaults as he went around the bases. 

 

Coming back from such deficit was no small order, particularly in the face of Tampa Bay’s myriad legions of relief pitchers, more numerous than the grains of sand on all the beaches in all the world.

 

Against more-or-less real starter Ryan Yarborough they strove, and against Fairbanks and Castillo and Curtiss, and Beeks and Sheriff, and Loup and Roe. 

 

“After awhile, we didn’t know who was pitching out there. I just closed my eyes,” said manager Ma Boone. 

 

A gargantuan home run into the catwalks of the Tampa BioDome by Aaron Judge, a clutch, two-out, two-run, two-bagger by Gleyber Torres, and another perfectly placed single by The Machine, D.J. LeMahieu, brought the Yanks to within 5-4. 

 

But New York’s bullpen fire laddies continued to give it up, as New York fire laddies Luis Cessa and Adam Ottavino surrendered more runs to TB’s Punch-and-Judys.

 

Heading into the 9th, the TB Sidemouths led by 7-4—only to see a stupendous, grand slam home run from The Red Menace, Clint Frazier, put the visitors back out in front—only to see the Rays tie it up at 8-8 when Aroldis “Cool Hand” Chapman walked the tying run in—only to see D.J. LeMagnificent triple in two more runs in the 12th—only to see reliever Johnny Lasagna serve up a game-tying home run to the inevitable, evil Brousseau—only to see a Luke Voit home run put the Yanks up by 12-10—only to see Mike “Last Resort” King serve up another home run to catcher Michael Perez—only to see King strike out Brousseau on a 60-mph, hanging curveball with the bases loaded.

 

“There’s no predicting baseball,” said The Master, John Sterling, when it was finally all over.  “But that’s just ridiculous.”

 

In the end, all it meant was the chance to play another day, on Tuesday night, back in New York.

 

“I don’t know if we have an arm left,” Boone told the press.  “But we sure got plenty of heart.”

 

“I told you he’d screw up our pitching for the playoffs,” general manager Brian Cashman added generously.

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