A refreshing antidote to the nattering nabobs of negativism
that permeate this site.
It’s time for a
little Pinstripe Pollyannaism (TM) as we open up the Ask Polly Mailbag.
Dear Polly,
After watching the Dodgers and Rays I’m starting to realize
that the Yankees are a fundamentally flawed organization that will never be competitive
enough to win another World Series before I shuffle off this mortal coil. I spend a lot of time watching, reading, and
thinking about the Yankees. Have I wasted my life?
Aging Yankee Fan
Dear Ageing,
Cheer up!
It is natural for people to seek entertainment and you have
chosen following sports as your primary outlet. That’s great!
As to worrying if they will win again in your lifetime. It
may seem like you are screwed but they are doing really interesting research on
increasing life spans so you might not be as close to death as you think.
Unfortunately neither is Hal and he has a lot more money to
spend on stem cells taken from Central American baseball players who think that
regular “blood plasma” letting is an elaborate part of the drug testing
protocol and is just a part of becoming a big leaguer.
But… Great news! Eventually
he will turn the reins over to another member of the family.
According to Wikipedia,
“Hal said the family had begun discussing future plans for
the family's involvement in the franchise, and that several of George's grandchildren,
including Stephen Swindal Jr., George Michael Steinbrenner IV, Robert Molloy,
Julia Steinbrenner Vinas (George IV's sister), and Katherine Steinbrenner
(Hal's daughter), have expressed interest in running the Yankees”
So eventually there will be a new Steinbrenner at the helm
and don’t worry about their ability to spend.
And as Hal once said to George Michael, “There’s money in
the banana stand”
I have done everything the Yankees have asked of me. I’ve
taken demotions, been left on the bench in crucial games, cut my hair, worked tirelessly on my fielding (gold glove
nominated!) , cut down on my tweeting, and continue to hit in the clutch yet I
still can’t shake the feeling that the front office is never going to give me
the chance I deserve. I’m starting to get sad again. Help!
Red Thunder
Dear Red,
Cheer up!
The Yankees couldn’t possibly sign Brett Gardner again.
Could they? I mean that would just be stupid at this point. We can all agree
on that. So, you will probably get your
chance. Part of your problem could be
that for some inexplicable reason some people don’t like people with red hair.
For the life of me I can’t tell you why but it’s true. Perhaps if you dyed your hair blond or went
with a nice chestnut brown you would get more starts. Either way. You will be
the starting left fielder next season, unless they sign Michael Brantley, but
why would they do that when they have you? I mean that would be stupid at this
point. Right?
Dear Polly,
I was heartbroken because i had very small penis, not nice
to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my
situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could
offer me the help i searched for
Austin
Dear Austin,
Cheer up!
There is a specialist called Dr OLU. You should email him on drolusolutionhome@gmail.com
and give his herbal product a try.
Posts
6 comments:
I'm starting to get excited about the 2011 Yankees! Let's get that bandwagon rolling.
One thought...just like you wouldn't give your investment money to someone whose last name is Madoff, I'd be concerned with someone at the top of the Yankees whose last name is Swindal...
Hilarious, Doug K.!
And yes, that list of Steinbrenner heirs made me shiver.
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