Thursday, October 29, 2020

Randy Pandemic, the Lindor Paradox, and another pointless day in the Yankiverse

Within the Yankiverse, time, as we know it, does not exist. 

It's a primal, subatomic particle thing. I won't go into the science; you'd just get dizzy and barf. Simply stated, the Rizzutons that comprise what we know as "consciousness" flow backwards and forward, simultaneously, creating a time/space continuum where Aaron Small is interchangeable with Aaron Judge, which in turn - whoops, feeling queasy, are you? Just close your eyes, breathe, and think of Yogi Berra, who summed it up by saying: "It gets late early." 

So, in today's links, we travel in every direction, at once. 

Backwards: How Randy Pandemic evolved. The Rays stole Arozarena from the usually astute Cardinals last winter. They dealt three prospects for him and Jose Martinez, whom they later jettisoned. Apparently, Arozarena started doing pushups, quit the Big Macs, mastered a leg kick, and turned into Hank Aaron - at least in September, before the league figured him out. He's 25, and the Rays have him through 2026. (Cheapskates that they are, they'll probably trade him in 2023, when he hits arbitration.) If he's for real, we are screwed.

The present: All-Star catcher and free agent JT Realmuto supposedly doesn't want to play in NY. Take this with a grain of salt. It's what they all say: It's called driving up the price. Supposedly, Realmuto wants to stay in Philadelphia. (Wait, isn't that's a dead giveaway?) The question remains, though, whether Food Stamps Hal will spend $300 million on anybody, even the best catcher in the game. My guess is, no, he won't.

The future: The persisting argument to obtain Francisco Lindor. This involves ditching DJ LeMahieu and trading - gulp - Clint Frazier, two of the most disgusting thoughts imaginable. In fact, it's so tortuous that I wonder: Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we self-loathing Yankee fans? Do we feel guilty for all the money this team pisses away? What is our problem? Either way, some folks in the Yankiverse constantly argue that the team needs Lindor, who is a year away from free agency.  Maybe I'm missing something, but isn't the Yankees main problem that they constantly trade for high-priced players after they have had their best years in another city? Must we forever do this?

The insulting. Oddsmakers pick the Yankees as faves in 2021. Dear God, must we go through this again? It's a recurring nightmare. Have these people no shame? Will they just leave us alone in our misery? Can we grieve? Will they let us fucking grieve? 


Anonymous said...

Just one thought....

The Oddsmakers

Great name for a TV series. Could be spots betting show. Could be crime drama or medical show.

It's just one of those titles.

Could be Fox game show. (No Dr. Ken PLEASE!!!!!)

But I digress.

That the Yankees have been made one of the favorites is just insane. Is it because they are the Yankees they automatically go to the head of the class? (Another good name for a... oh wait. Right. Sorry)

Seriously, We have one good/great starter, could easily lose our best hitter, a crap bullpen, a catcher who is not up to par on either side of the plate, two fragile superstars who have yet to play anything close to a season at the same time... I could go on but we all know the litany.

So I don't know who these Oddsmakers are but they need to find a new profession. Perhaps as an assessment team in a corporate drama. I don't know but clearly they need to get out of the sports business. I mean, the Yankees in the World Series? What are the odds of that happening?

Doug K.

Alphonso said...

You apparently have not read my posts, El Duque.

It doesn't matter what we do. Spend $300 million on a catcher? Add a shortstop? Let DJ go to the wolves?

None of that matters.

We have Giancarlo dragging the boat down. No matter who is aboard. we can't get enough speed to run beyond a wild card round.

So there is no need for anguish. Or Agita. Or Throwing things.

What ever the Yankees do...whether it excites you or induces thoughts of suicide.... it doesn't fucking matter.

Third place is third place.

el duque said...


There is always room for anguish.

El Duque

HoraceClarke66 said...

Brilliant, Duque!

And while I agree that Stanton is a millstone, Alphonso, he could have a good season in 2021. As the announcers like to say, stranger things have happened. I wouldn't bet on it, but stranger things have happened.

But what will it matter if he does? What will it matter if Judge somehow stays on the field, too?

Without pitching, nobody wins nuthin'—especially not in a full season, if that's what we are lucky enough to get in 2021.

We didn't have enough pitching this year. We will have even less next year, and less still for the foreseeable future. That's why we will be competing, at best, for the Marvelous One Game Wild Card Play In.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

Stanton COULD have a good season.

We could go back in time, and ABoone won't screw up game 2 pitching vs The Rays.

I could wake up tomorrow at age 22, height 6-foor-11, with a freaking jump shot.

However, these do not seem like solid bets. Or even hopes.

Unless I Dream Of Jeannie was a real thing......

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