Send Us Your Dreams!

 The Dream Catcher Interprets Your Dreams!

Dear Dream Catcher,

I have a recurring dream where I'm sitting in a rather bland, modern stadium, watching a baseball game. A voice behind me says, "This ball club really has a chance to go all the way!" I say, "But this is the exact same team I saw last year.  And the year before that."

Then a short, smug-looking bald man appears, and tells me that I expect too much, and anyway, the playoffs are a crap shoot. 

What should I make of this?

—Déjà vu All Over Again

Dear Déjà,

Obviously, the handsome gentleman you saw is a sage, a man of great and unusual wisdom—perhaps even a genie, or holy man. You should trust him to be right in everything he says, and disregard the evidence of your own eyes.

Dear Dream Catcher,

The other night, I dreamed that I watching a baseball game in a rather, bland modern stadium. I was so bored that I went to the refreshment stand, even though I knew there was nothing there that I would ever allow in my own home. 

I ordered a beer, a hot dog, and something called "Cracker Jack," though I'm not really sure what that is. To my shock, the short, smug, bald man behind the counter told me that this would cost $119.63—even though something was clearly moving inside the Cracker Jack box.

Why would I dream something so horrible?

—Katie Casey  

Dear Katie,

I don't understand your question. Baseball is never boring. And the price you mentioned for so much wholesome nourishment sounds quite reasonable to me. Also, I feel you should better appreciate the generosity of the taxpayers who no doubt built that stadium you find "rather bland."

Dear Dream Catcher,

I had a terrible nightmare last week, one in which I was trying to find the channel on which my favorite baseball team—you know, the one that plays in that rather bland, modern stadium—was playing.

But every channel I went to was either not showing the game, or required a large fee to subscribe. And went I went online to see what was going on, a short, smug, bald man appeared to tell me that the game had started at 11:30 in the morning!

What can such an outlandish nightmare possibly mean?

—Shaken

Dear Shaken,

What in the world is wrong with watching a ballgame that starts before noon? That gives you all the more time to shop online for your favorite team's paraphernalia. 

And what's wrong with many other channels televising your team? Shouldn't they get a chance to show the game, too? What do you have against them?

Obviously, you are a deeply disturbed person, one who should probably be committed at once!

That's all for today. It is to be hoped that next time, we will have fewer letters from people who are such malcontents, and so obviously deranged.

Until then, remember, folks: Send us your dreams!!!