Write this down: WE WILL WIN THE AL EAST BY 8 GAMES

Eight games. Minimum. Eight.

I've been reading predictions by top experts (ESPN, Boston Globe, Alphonso) that claim the Redsocks are the team to beat.

They are fools.

As anyone who visits this website knows, we struggle every day to maintain a strict code of impartiality. If we lose that, we would lose our credibility, which is the most sacred quality we possess.

Fuckit. Make it 9 games. That's how sure I am.

Hell, we collapsed last year due to an Italian earthquake (Note: This is called alluding to the news of the day) of injuries. Arod went down, we were screwed but fought back. Jorge went down, we were screwed but fought back. Hideki went down, we were screwed but fought back. Chien-Ming Wang went down, we were royally screwed and stayed royally screwed.

This winter, we bought the three best humans available.

We rolled three off-seasons of buying free agents into one.

Considering that our players have healed (except for one Italian earthquake of a distraction!), our pitching prospects, and the Big Three, the Yanks will win this thing by nine (9).

Fuckit. Make it 10.

Bet the house in Italy.