Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Lonnie Baseball: "If you purchased a suite, do you want people in your suite?”

Hell, no.


If you purchased a lawn mower, you want people sticking their fingers into the blade?

If you purchased a brand new toilet, you want bums coming to your house and drinking from it? Dammit, no.

Well, a few holier-than-thous in the Yankiverse are Rush Limbaughing about Yankee brasshead Lonn Trost's celebration of truth yesterday:


That when you sell a luxury suite for $500,000, you don't include the bowery scum who plan to stream through it like pornographic videos, with their swine flu germs and rehashed Firesign Theater comedy routines, nosireeee. You lock the gate and keep out the hollerin' hordes, and that includes bloggers.


Lonnie Baseball was merely explaining Capitalism 101 to reporters, saying the Yanks:


a) Aren't a-gonna let shoeless dregs of society slither near the playing field to grub free (that's right, free) autographs.


b) Aren't a-gonna wreck the paying (that's right, paying) public, who shell big bucks for exotic chicken wings and lapdances, because whatever happens in the new stadium stays in the new stadium. (Foul balls and autographs included.)

c) Aren't a-gonna let reporters peruse the ritzy places with their infra-red semen stain spotter technology, and -- hey -- if you don't like it, the Yankee Steakhouse is always looking for some prime cuts of Angus Gammonite.


Says Lonn: “If you purchased a house, do you want people in your house?”


Hell no. And if you purchased the House that Ruth Built, do you want people in that house?

Hell, no. And that's what we're getting. An empty house.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lonnie Baseball for President!