Dear Mr. Pavano,
Congrats on your team's comeback and epic playoff-game win against the Tigers. Celebrate it. Bask in your team's glory. It was truly an epic game.
However, we feel obliged to remind you that you owe us a whole bunch of runs when you pitch against us in a few days. 39.95 million runs to be exact. And when you jog out to the mound against us, we certainly won't forget your debt.
Very truly yours,
Yankee Universe
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
An Open Letter to Carl Pavano
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4 comments:
Dear Mr. Pavano
Get AIDS
Yours in Christ,
Anon
I want to embarrass that fuck more than anything else in the world. More than a walk-off against Farsnworth. More than a line-drive off Lester's knee. More than Mariano RBI.
Please, God, give this to me. I don't ask for much. Pavano sold his soul to bring a team into the postseason, but that price better have been eventual dismembering at the hands of his former employers.
Pavano will pitch like a Pavano.
Quick! Someone loan him a Porche at the airport, then arrange a meeting with one of New York's Smelliest (in the shape of an NYC garbage truck)!
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