It's sad when one must police an otherwise credible corner of the Yankiverse, but today, River Ave Blues claims to publish photographic proof of the existence of Melvin Croussett.
What's next? Bigfoot? Jackson Melian?
Folks, it's natural to want to believe in Croussett, a mythological figure originally sourced to the back alley dogfight betting rings of Skaneateles, New York, which later migrated to Central America along with 2.4 million jobs, following the mid-1990s passage of NAFTA.
According to legend, Mariano Rivera's identical twin brother, Archie, donated his seedcorn to a top-secret government eugenics program, run by frozen-yet-cogent head of Ted Williams. It was called Operation: Splendid Splinter. Somehow, a supermutation named Melvin Croussett escaped from the lab, signed with the Yankees and compiled a negative ERA in a 2008 dirt league.
The creature is said to haunt the Latin American countryside, causing unfortunate facial hair to grow on Dominican 11-year-olds.
I don't know how River Ave could have been so easily hoodwinked. Sid Fynch lives, afterall.
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