Monday, November 2, 2009

Open Letter to Arod: MARRY THIS WOMAN, OR SHE MAY HAVE TO RENOUNCE HER POSSIBLE VICTORY AS YANKEE OCTOBER EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

Questions have been raised regarding the employment status of actress Kate Hudson, currently the vote leader in the contest to be named OCTOBER YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

Because she is not married to Alex Rodriguez, and is therefore not officially on the books as a Yankee employee or family of a Yankee employee, it is not clear whether she will qualify for this award. (NOTE: After Jim Rice won in August, prompting a huge public outcry after he never once used the preferred parking spot, rules were tightened to make sure only Yankee employees would qualify.)

The IIH-IIF-IIc election crew is gathering to discuss this call. We must get it right. However, considering the situation at hand, we request that Alex simply pop the marriage proposal question tonight, on national TV, in the locker room, following the Yankee victory. This will elminate our concerns relating to the vote.

6 comments:

Knobby said...

Suzyn!!

OpusOne said...

You know he will "opt-out" instead in front of all the cameras, because that's what we least expect.

dadlak said...

Looks like this photo has put Kate on top in the balloting, so to speak. Congratulations!

Any word as to whether she has kissed A-Rod's boo-boos (from many HBPs) and made them better?

Whitey Fraud said...

Why worry? You will manipulate the outcome anyway, El Dunqué.

Stang said...

Didn't you hear that traditional marriage was destroyed by gays and loose-living libertines? Your assertion that Kate's partnership with A-Rod doesn't entitle her to full benefits is a quaint piece of 20th century thinking.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kate's role as a proud member of the Yankee Family is being sabotaged like proud American Meb Keflezihi's win of the NYC Marathon! The argument goes: Kate is not a "Yankee Wife" but goes to every game, poses for the paparazzi, makes out with Arod in public, defeated Skeletor, and fights with Minka so Jeter and Arod don't have to thus she's not eligible while Meb is not "American-born" and only came here when he was 12, went to school here, trained here, won an Olympic medal for the American team and is an American citizen thus he's not a "real" American. This is pure and simple discrimination. First of all, we are the New York Yankees, and in New York State, we extend the eligibility of benefits to partners of both the same sex and opposite sex. So, I agrue Kate is eligible for Yankee Employee of the Month.