Friday, January 23, 2015

Dear Seattle, you can lift your head out of the ocean now; Ichiro signed with Miami

Congratulations to the Seattle Mariners, the Laureates of Loyalty. They've done it again!

Last year, right around now, they unveiled unto Robbie Cano the Ten-Year-Pact - a contract so ridiculously odious that not even the Yankees, generally the gold standard for long term mistakes, decided not to top it.

This year, Seattle sat in a corner and pretended to read "Gravity's Rainbow," while the great Ichiro Suzuki - the finest player in Mariner history and a future Hall of Famer - knocked on doors, requesting a chance at winning a job.

Go away, they said. Not interested.

Nope. They were so excited about the 35 pounds lost by Jesus "Ice Cream Sandwich" Montero that they started printing 2015 playoff tickets, and when they were done, they didn't have any more ink in their pens to draw up a contract for their greatest historical icon.

Go away. No room here.

Thankless in Seattle.

Seven years from now, Ichiro will go to Cooperstown with a massive crowd, most of which will be wearing Mariners caps. He wear one, too - because that's the way it should be. He deserves to go in with a Seattle cap - just as he deserved to leave baseball in one, during his final incarnation.

Nope. Go away. No room here.

Well, here's a prediction for 2021, when Ichiro dons that Mariners cap for his final, farewell party.

That year, one certain person will NOT be wearing a Seattle cap: Robbie Cano.

Nope. After his first bad season - he'll have a few - they'll trade him for a pack of cigarettes and an autographed Jay-Z record. And if Robbie expects loyalty - well - he's gotten a nice view of it, Mariners style.


Buhner's Ghost said...

Please. If Ichiro in 2015 were so desireable, why didn't you guys sign him? The Mariners already went through this with Griffey and it ended badly. They learned their lesson and moved on. Besides, they need to hold roster spots for Willie Bloomquist and maybe Endy Chavez.

Rose CIty Wobblies said...

Buhner's Ghost beat me to the first punch with the history lesson but el duque come on now bro. I know you are east coast but you amateurishly write - "Ichiro Suzuki - the finest player in Mariner history" .... Yikes - Griffey goes to the Hall next year ... and hands down is the best Mariner - on this coast anyway.

Arguments will be made he is followed by in this order - Edgar Martinez, Randy Johnson, A-Roid and then Ichi .... And Jay-bone Buhner makes the discussion as well .... if only to rub the Yankee trade scabs off a little more .....

el duque said...

I guess it must be fun to rewrite history and rationalize institutional betrayal. Just go ahead and keep telling yourself how Griffey was soooo great, and how he'll be going into the Hall next year. Yeah. You might want to book your hotel room in Cooperstown for that. And Randy Johnson? Do you even think he'll go into the Hall with a Mariners hat on? Is that who you want as your greatest player?

Buhner's Ghost said...

Let's not forget King Felix, Jamie Moyer and--by the time his contract is over--Robinson Cano!

Buhner's Ghost said...

The Hall decides on hats, but we have no objections to Randy as a Dback there...after all, he beat the Yankees with the D'backs (as well as with the M's in '95). The Mariners will be represented by Griffey, then Ichiro, then Edgar, Felix and Cano!

el duque said...

If so, the '96 Mariners will have more members in the Hall than the team that won four World Series - PROVING the anti-Yankee bias that exists among the electorate.

Roger Maris is not in the Hall.
No Maris. No peace.
No Maris. No peace.