Wednesday, January 7, 2015

For joy. Hooray. The Yankees sign Drew... aka: Brian Roberts II?

Wow. For a while there, they had me fooled.

The 2015 Yankees actually looked interesting.

I bet you - like me - actually thought the Empire would trust its $200 million, third-place dynasty to a rookie 2B. What manner of fools are we! Yesterday's rumor said Willie Randolph - a once-upon-a-time rookie 2B - would become a coach, and maybe he'd groom a new fairy tale rookie - like old Robby Wazhizname - into a star 2B. What a concept: A rookie infielder.

Of course, that's soo last millennium. A Yankee 2B should be 33 or over, and preferably a pull hitter who - when confronted by an over-shift - swings harder. Last August, when Stephen Drew was hitting Mily Cyrus' weight, that's what he did. He was hitting .160, but refused to bunt because of the Teixeira Rule: Nobody gets paid to bunt.

Forgive me. I don't mean to rip Stephen Drew. It's not his fault. We could do worse. We could have signed him for two years, like Brandon Ryan. A one-year deal? Hell, we can do a year. He'll get time-off for bad behavior. By July, he could be the trade chip that brings Ryan Howard to NYC. One year? That's nothing!

Trouble is, who wants to fathom it? It's so boring. Maybe we should devote this blog to Chris Christie. IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS... eaten.

Insert sigh here.

Well, what's done is done. Last year, around now, we signed Brian Roberts, Mister O's. He flailed for three months, and then they dumped him like a plate of bad clams. Now, it's clear that Rob Refsnyder and Jose Pirela can do whatever in spring training - (if they haven't been traded by then) - because their tickets are punched for Scranton. We have Drew, a player with a limitless downside and a diamond-hard ceiling. Best case scenario: .250 and 15 HRs, give or take a streak or slump. But if Drew starts hot and hits .330 through May, it just means he'll go 0-for-July. He'll reach his numbers. Ho-hum. If you know it's underwear, why even unwrap the gift?

But hey... Stephen Drew is a pro. He's a good guy. And it's only a year. One year, ONE YEAR, WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS, ONLY ONE YEAR. He's not the worst thing we could do. He's just one of the most boring-est.

For three years now, the Empire has floundered as a team - but dramatically withered as a topic of interest. We play .500 baseball, but we are in last place when it comes to fun. We have no rising star. There is no farewell tour. We have the saga of A-Rod, who probably will never see a pitch for us. And we have this Steiners Collectibles assortment of Headleys and Drews, Beltrans and McCanns - blah players who wear the jersey, the Danny Tartabulls and Danny Caters of the new Millennium.  To make this season interesting, somebody needs to swap wives.

For a while, they had me fooled. Hey, how about this for the Christie blog: IT IS CHEWED, IT IS TASTED, IT IS... barfed?


Local Bargain Jerk said...

Perhaps the rhythm and meter are off, but maybe go with "IT IS TASTED, IT IS CHEWED, IT IS... passed as a turd the size of a Volvo."

How'zat sound?

KD said...

Oh, didn't you read the YES Blogs? Drew sucked last year because he didn't get any spring training. Yep. That held him back all last season. Fear not, Yankee fans! Drew's gonna tear the cover off the ball in 2015.

Robert Merrill said...

Oh, for the days of Tresh and Linz.

Hermodorus said...

Maybe you missed it, but RAB fairly addressed any concerns you may have about the signing!

"It might appear signing Drew blocks Rob Refsnyder, but that’s simply not the case.."
There you have it!
"Most importantly, if Drew is bad the Yankees will replace him. It might take a while, given how long it took them to cut ties with Alfonso Soriano and Brian Roberts last season..."
Ok! No problem!

Thank you Randy Levine and Rupert Murdoch.

Anonymous said...

I remember when River Ave Blues used to link to this blog.

They removed the links after YES bought them off.

Mister D said...

How I feel about this will depend on what follows. As of now, there is not room on the 25 man roster for Pirela OR Refs. That's going to make it hard for them to break in unless Drew is injured. And in that case this is a waste.

Now if they open up a roster spot (I don't much care how, but moving or releasing Ryan seems the most prudent move) then you have Drew to work both short and second. He can platoon with (and perhaps mentor) Didi, and allow Pirela or Refs to be eased into second. If this is the case, I have no problem with the move.