Thursday, January 22, 2015

The conversation between A-Rod and Barry Bonds

Barry: Hey, uh, you ever, uh... try any of clear... shaving cream?

ARod: Yeah. Clear shaving cream. I know that stuff.

Barry: With linseed oil!

ARod: Twice-a-day! Cures skin rashes. Yeah, I know that stuff.

Barry: You ever try it?

ARod: Nope.

Barry: Same here.

ARod: You'd get in trouble.

Barry: As you should!  

ARod: I might know a guy who tried it.

Barry: Same here. So... how did your... guy...  like it?

ARod: He could run through a brick wall.

Barry: Rip fire hydrants out of the sidewalk, right?

ARod: He could overturn cars! At least, that what he said. I wouldn't know.

Barry:  Hey, A... you ever think about the Hall?

ARod: Hall of Fame? Pfft. That's for sissies. I wouldn't go in if they begged me.

Barry: I wouldn't go in to take a dump.

ARod: I'd go in to pee on the floor, like at my cousin's. That would show 'em. Hey, you ever know a guy named Headley?

Barry: Headley Lamar?

ARod: Chase Headley.

Barry: I know a Chase N. Sandborn?

ARod: Headley. From San Diego. He wants my job.

Barry: So... whatcha gonna do? Some of that... um... shaving cream?

ARod: I got a bad rash....

Barry: Well, I don't know about that... But I got a friend...

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