Tuesday, January 6, 2015

NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE: Mattingly screwed again

If I had $50 million, I'd buy land directly across the street from that giant, concrete turd of self-righteous morality, which is known as Baseball's Hall of Fame (which, by the way, is privately owned.) On that tract, I would build THE PEOPLE'S HALL, where fans - not sportswriters - decide who gets inducted. And every year, I would make eligible all the players throughout history who were deemed unworthy by the esteemed electorate of the sportswriters' hall.

I suspect our first class would be the following:

Pete Rose
Roger Clemens
Barry Bonds
Rafael Palmeiro
Mark McGwire

I have a problem with one name on that list: Pete Rose. Yeah, he only bet on his team to win. Trouble was, he didn't bet on every game. So when he wasn't betting, he was sort of wagering against his own team. That's hard to overlook. But I would, anyway.

And every other name on that list is simply a player who was trying to get an edge on the competition - and got caught. Athletes and coaches have cheated and schemed for extra advantages since the beginning of sports. Keeping these old warhorses out of the hall is just pious, self-righteous sportswriter morality.

Life is too short to hold grudges against old jocks, who were never viewed as giants of morality - until the media started assigning cosmic importance to their every word. Let's save our righteous indignation for the politicians, the generals, the corporate chieftains and the billionaires who goad us, write us, or march us into wars.

Hell, let the old jocks do what old jocks are supposed to do: Coach Little League, play golf, drink their asses off and sit around, remembering The Big Game, which seemed important at the time.

Oh, one more thing: MATTINGLY WOULD GET INTO MY HALL, DAMMIT. IF NECESSARY, I WOULD RIG THE FRICKIN' BALLOTING, AND SCREW YOU BASTARDS IF YOU DIDN'T VOTE HIM IN.  A GUY SHELLS OUT $50 MILLION, AND HE OUGHTA GET SOMETHING. WHICH REMINDS ME: WHO WOULDN'T PUT MATTINGLY ON THEIR BALLOT? I'LL TELL YOU WHO: A SELF-LOATHING YANKEE FAN. THAT'S WHO. THERE IS NOTHING WORSE. THEY ARE THE REASON WHY ROGER MARIS IS NOT THE HALL. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. ROGER MARIS IS NOT IN THE HALL. THAT'S WHY WE NEED A PEOPLE'S HALL. SCREW COOPERSTOWN! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE!

3 comments:

Bill from Manhattan said...

I think that there's an even better case to be made for Bernie Williams as a Hall of Famer--if you look at his numbers, he's Andrew McCutcheon, only better. He was slighted in his day because he was averse to self-promotion and overshadowed by a host of druggies with gaudy home run totals. But he was one of the elite all-around players of his era, and for a good ten years. Of course, he dropped off the ballot a year or two ago. I'm convinced that if sabremetrics had been as prominent during Bernie's playing days as it is now, he would have gotten his due (to take only one example--Bernie had a higher lifetime OPS than first-ballot Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett, minus only the aggressive charm and shmoozing quotient).

Mister D said...

Bernie also cratered after he got into his 30s, sort of like Griffey. For some unknown reason, they were unable to maintain their health into their 40s like Barry "People's Hall" did. Bernie remains my favorite player from the dynasty era, and he is, to me a borderline call. If I had a vote, though, I would cross that border.

John M said...

Baseball is like other team sports. There are great players but there are also great teams, whose individual players may not be HOF material by traditional measures, but created a sum that was greater than the parts. The late-90s Yankees were one of those teams, I think. So once again, I humbly say that there should be a new room at the Hall where teams of a specific year or, if the team was largely intact and dynastic, a specific span of years are voted in for their collective greatness.

The whole steroid thing is such bullshit it's pretty incredible. Drunks, wife beaters, Jew haters, racists, pill poppers, spike sharpeners...they're all Hall-worthy greats. But the PED guys are cheaters who don't get in.

As Mel would have said, how about that?