Perfect timing? Mired in a slump, Slade Heathcott gets the call

For weeks, I secretly hoped Carlos Beltran would tweak a love handle and go on the DL. It wasn't that I wish ill on Beltran - a nice fellow, I believe - but I just lost hope. These days, I leave the room when he comes to bat. (I've tried everything else; nothing worked.) In my fantasy Yankee world, Slade Heathcott would rise from Scranton like Linus's Great Pumpkin and patrol RF for the next 15 years. Carlos Beltran would make a fine Wally Pip. He just made a lousy Paul O'Neill.

Ten games ago, my dream looked viable. Ten games ago, Heathcott was hitting .328 and nearly leading the International League. But the last two weeks were not pleasant. He is now down to .285 - having hit .154 over the last 10 games with no HRs and 2 RBIs. Yes, he was Beltran-like.

Last night, the Yankees promoted Heathcott - a former first round wonder boy - to the Show. Worst of all, and I don't mean this cruelly, he's not even replacing Beltran. The injury was to Jacoby Ellsbury, heretofore our best player. Oh, well...