FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Monday, November 2, 2015
Game over, series over, nightmare (for now) over: It's winter, the wonderful off-season, when once again, Yankee hopes spring anew!
Posted by el duque at 7:26 AM
As of this morning, we have achieved also-ran equality!
There will be no Metapalooza down the Canyon of Heroes. No Grandyman on the Tonight Show. No Matt Harvey kiss from De Blasio. Soon, the weather will turn miserable. It's Opening Day of the Off-Season, the happiest time on the new YES calendar. As they say on G.O.T., winter is here!
Thus far, we haven't watched Toronto sign a free agent. We haven't sat out the bidding on a new Cuban prospect. We haven't even made a crapola trade. Nobody's hurt. Everybody's healthy. We won't lose for four months. This is our time to fantasize anything... anything!
Chase Headley! Know what I think? I think old Chase is due for a breakout year! Yep, I'm writing down 25 HR and .270! I say, shoot for the fences!
CC will be out of rehab, and Ellsbury could be back by June 1. Should we re-sign Stephen Drew... as insurance. What about the alien mega-structure orbiting that nearby star? Are they Yankee fans? Wait... could the aliens be stealing YES signals? Could be a new revenue source.
Have you heard about Gary Sanchez in the Arizona League. He's tearing it up. He looks like a future all-star catcher. Can we spin him off for a decent middle-innings reliever? Carlos Beltran! He sure quieted the critics. Two-seventy-four! With more rest, he could hit .280 next year.
Let KC have their stupid celebration. Nobody cares. Within five years, they'll be terrible again. Same with the Mets and Redsocks. They might be good next summer, but as long as someone beats them in the World Series, it doesn't matter, right? We'll still have that first day of November, to stretch out and party, because our worst rivals didn't win. Hoo-ray. It's the best time of the year. We tied for first. We're also-rans!