Thursday, November 26, 2015

What could we get for Ivan "Super" Nova, aside from an end to sitting around and hoping for Ivan "Super" Nova?

Hot Scoop: Yankee GM-For-Life Brian Cashman is shopping Ivan "Super" Nova to other teams during his late-night, naked, executive-biker bonfires.

Nova, 29  - a statistical clone of Brett Tomko, by the way - has one more year on his contract, and right now, he's our sixth starter. Last summer, he returned from Tommy John surgery and for three games pitched like Tommy John, and then started throwing like Elton John. But this is Super's walk year, and he's finally over the knife and - who knows? This guy was the 2013 August AL Pitcher of the Month!

So we're shopping him. We're shopping him because - aside from Brett Gardner, Andrew Miller and our best prospects, we have nothing else to shop. Nobody wants Ellsbury. Nobody will take CC, unless we pay his bar tabs. Other teams want players with high ceilings and controllable contracts - so Nova could be the cherry on a package that could net us - oh, God, I get a headache thinking about it.

What I know is this: a) Nova is a crap shot, b) he'll be gone next winter and c) six Yankee starters is far too few. I've wasted too many years pining for Super Nova's break out season, and I can't last much longer. How many pitchers have toyed with our hopes? Remember Edwar Ramirez? Vidal Nino... Kei Igawa... Alfredo Aceves... GAHHHH?

So what am I getting at, this early Thanksgiving morning? The Yankees are becoming Ivan Nova... a collection of the same tired faces with concrete ceilings. We know what Carlos Beltran will do next year, (if he stays healthy.) The Fates have already written most of the Yankees' 2016 season. We've seen the movie. We know Julia Roberts will shack up with Richard Gere (Yankee fan, by the way.)

But... Greg Bird? Now, there's a mystery. And Luis Severino! And Rob Refsnyder! They're the surprise in the Crackerjacks box. They're the reason to watch. They haven't yet disappointed us. We still don't know what they might do.

And in a strange way, so is Nova still a mystery. We still don't know...

So we're shopping him. Somebody will take a flier. Another one bites the dust.

OK, let's eat.

2 comments:

Leinstery said...

Realistically, maybe we could get a box of crayons. 24 pack of course, no way anyone is trading a 64 pack for him.

Anonymous said...

More realistically, the Yanks might trade Pineda. Nova possibly has value in the pen. His two pitches play much better from the pen, not having to go through the lineup more than once. Tiring to watch Pineda's antics around the mound, after every pitch. Can't imagine having to play behind that guy.